Walking Unassisted - 6 years After Accident

Ignore the ridiculous commentary at the beginning.  Someone had left scuff marks on the floor and Rebecca was trying to get to the bottom of it!

This is 6 years to the day after my accident on 3/31/13, which left me with a T12 incomplete spinal cord injury.  Incomplete just means I can do things like I'm doing in the video, vs. having zero feeling and zero movement below the point of injury.

I managed to walk 50 feet that day, which has been a goal of mine for years.  For the beginning (not shown), I used my crutches for balance and had to tap the ground once to keep from tipping over.  Just once!  But it negates the goal for me so I am going to keep at it.  Even if I accomplish it, I'm going to keep doing it because it was extremely apparently that my lower back muscles are not accustomed to this much full body movement.  They were as tight as you can imagine about 35 feet in.  It's very odd to think that my legs could have kept going if it weren't for my atrophied lower back.  Yes, I have a titanium cage in my lower back so maybe that had something to do with it.  #noexcuses.

Other quick updates while I'm here:

I'm traveling a lot for work, especially this year, and a lot of folks wonder about traveling with a wheelchair and all my other... considerations.  It's become surprisingly routine and simple.  Yes I need a little more time here and there, but overall it's fairly easy.  Especially with Lyft/Uber.  I don't even need a special XL Lyft or anything like that.  I have the routine down at the airport - "No I don't need an aisle chair, yes this is my own personal chair, no I don't need pushes up the ramp," the rideshare - "No the wheelchair doesn't fold.  Don't worry I'll show you how this works.  Bags in the backseat, wheelchair in the trunk.  Like so.  Yes it's a fancy wheelchair," the hotel - "I don't know if I need an ADA room.  Does the regular room have a walk-in shower?" etc.  It's not so bad.  Really.

Life is good.  I have no complaints.  Rebecca and I have a very good life.  Every time I get down on myself I immediately feel guilty for feeling that way, because of how lucky we have been in life.  You  might say, "How in the world can Chip call himself lucky?" But honestly it's all relative.  Of course I wish I could jog across the street to catch the bus instead of watching others do so and having to wait for the next one downtown.  Of course I want to join my wife and sister-in-law on hikes.  But those are momentary and ultimately petty annoyances.

Dear God, thanks for the awareness of the relativity of my situation.  That one aspect being harder than others does not equal the sum of my life.  Thank you for all we have.  Keep me grateful.  Keep me humble.  When I am not humble, make me aware of it.  Let me and others learn from my struggles and let the struggles themselves fade into nothing.  Thanks for our dog, Tucky, too, who is always happy to see me, no matter what mood I'm in.

Cheers,
Chip

Seneca Regarding Heaven, God, Suffering and Death

That's a heady title.  This is not a typical blog of mine, but I'm trying to incorporate more than just how walking is going and my travels.  People inevitably ask about fortitude and perseverance.  You can consider this entry about that.

I've been reading Seneca's Letters from a Stoic lately.  In another book, Tribe of Mentors by Tim Ferriss, Tim interviews 100 "successful" people, including success in the arts, finding inner peace, business, wealth, fitness, etc.  One of the questions he asks is, "What is the book (or books) you've given most as a gift, and why?  Or what are one to three books that have greatly influenced your life?" Letters of a Stoic was one that I had heard about already, right up there with Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.  Letters of a Stoic was on Thomas Jefferson's night stand the night he died, as an example.

Letters of a Stoic is about Seneca's philosophy, Stoicism, as shown through mentoring the letters' recipient, Lucilius.  I don't agree with all of it, but some of it truly resonates.  He also talks a fair amount about God's importance in the world, how you can only ever be happy by trying to follow the path that God set out for you, etc.  He sometimes mentions "the gods" as well, but interestingly never capitalizes those.

Seneca was the main advisor to Emperor Nero for 15 years in Ancient Rome.  Purportedly, Seneca was the one truly governing the empire and Nero was his voice.  So remember at that time, Christianity was not exactly encouraged, and everyone was to bow to the emperor and the various gods.  So I believe he was merely being careful in his communication by throwing in "gods" here an there to avoid suspicion.  Not that he was necessarily Christian.  That being said, he was alive at the same time as Jesus and wrote these letters at the same time that Paul (just 10 years younger than Seneca) was writing his.  It is speculated that they wrote to each other.  It's also worth pointing out that he suffered his entire life from a series of health issues, first and foremost, asthma.  They didn't have inhalers back then.  He talks in another letter about always gasping for breath unsure if it will be his last.

This passage struck me today on several fronts.  Please read it when you have time and it will likely be obvious if you know me or have read any of my blog.

Excerpt from Letter LXV:

"Am I not to inquire the identity of the artist who created that universe? Or the process which this huge mass became subject to law and order?  Or the nature of the one who collected the things that were scattered apart, sorted apart the things that were commingled, and when all things lay in formless chaos allotted them their individual shapes?  Or the source of the light that is shed on us in abundance?  Am I not supposed to inquire into this sort of thing? Am I not to know where I descended from...what my destination is to be after my stay here, what abode will await my soul on its release from the terms of its serfdom on earth?  Are you forbidding me to associate with heaven, in other words ordering me to go through life with my eyes bent on the ground?  I am too great, was born to too great a destiny to be my body's slave.  So far as I am concerned that body is nothing more or less than a fetter on my freedom.  I place it squarely in the path of fortune, letting her expend her onslaught on it, not allowing any blow to get through it to my actual self.  For that body is all that is vulnerable about me: within this dwelling so liable to injury there lives a spirit that is free.  Never shall that flesh compel me to feel fear, never shall it drive me to any pretense unworthy of a good man; never shall I I tell a lie out of consideration for this petty body.  I shall dissolve our partnership when this seems the proper course, and even now while we are bound one to the other the partnership will not be on equal terms: the soul will assume undivided authority.  Refusal to be influenced by one's body assures one's freedom.

...We know that everything in the universe is composed of matter and of God.  God, encompassed within them, controls them all, they following his leadership and guidance. Greater power and greater value reside in that which creates (in this case, God) than in matter on which God works.  Well, the place which in this universe is occupied by God is in man the place of the spirit.  What matter is in the universe the body is in us.  Let the worse, then, serve the better.  Let us meet with bravery whatever may befall us.  Let us never feel a shudder at the thought of being wounded or of being made a prisoner, or of poverty or persecution.  What is death?...for I shall never be in confinement quite so cramped anywhere else as I am here."

If it's not clear, he is saying that the spirit is God within us, guiding us, and that our flesh and bones are merely a means to accomplish the spirit's tasks.  In the last sentence, he is saying that he feels the power of the spirit imprisoned by the body itself.  He's also older so sometimes he talks about death and passing on like this.  But I love the way he states that the body means nothing compared to the spirit.  Good stuff.

Cheers -

Late 2016 - early 2018: LET'S START THE BLOG BACK UP!

Hello!  It's been a while.  I hope you are doing well.

I just looked and it's been about 16 months since I last blogged here.  I stopped before because I thought that since I wasn't progressing very much physically there was less to write about.  Quite a few folks have had opinions to the contrary.  Most notably and influentially, my wife, Rebecca.  So here I am, back at it.  Here are some updates from the last 16 months in bullet and photo fashion:

• Christmas 2016: Swan Song: I didn't realize it at the time but it ended up being the last Christmas that I sang "O Holy Night" for St. John UMC in Prospect, KY.  I started going to that church in the 4th grade nearly 30 years ago (good grief).  I sang that awesome song for Christmas Eve services for about 16 or so of those years.  The older years.  I sang in the 4th grade, too - just other stuff that I can't remember.  Pastor Dan Huck officiated our wedding and also guided us through premarital counseling, which coincidentally sandwiched the date of my accident.  I was the President of the Youth Group in high school.  I've sung a million songs there.  I was Elvis for talent shows.  Mom worked there as lay pastor for almost 20 years.  Dad led a ton of bible studies.  Lots of memories.  (My parents moved out of KY - I'll get to that).  

• Early 2017: New Job:  After much deliberation and a PowerPoint presented to Rebecca while she was in some African country like Uganda or Rwanda, I took a position in Seattle with Socrata.  In short, we are a cloud-based software company that aims to make it easier to access, utilize, and drive operational improvement in government.  Smallish company with 170 or so smart and energetic folks.  Good times.  I started commuting from DC to Seattle in February 2017.  

• May 2017: Move to Seattle: Rebecca, Tucky and I hustled in between flights to customers and Seattle (Chip) and longer trips to Africa (Rebecca) to get logistics straight and head to the Emerald City.  

• Summer in Seattle 2017: DID YOU KNOW IT'S SUNNY FROM 4:30AM UNTIL 10pm FOR MONTHS????? 5:11am sunrise and 9:10pm sunset.  That's crazy.  16 hours of sunlight.  This city is so awesome in the summer.  It's ridiculous.  Chicago has awesome summers for different reasons. Did I mention we live within a mile of about 10 breweries???? 

• Paragliding in Utah, July 2017: The guy that is running the show there actually ALSO had a spinal cord injury.  His was received in a marginally cooler way; during a professional paragliding competition as one of Red Bull's athletes.  He had an amazing recovery (lucky bastard!).  Now that he "gets it," he lets people like me paraglide free of charge.  He actually took up Rebecca for free, too, which was totally unnecessary.  Swell guy.  Thanks Chris!  Here's his company. 

• September 2017: As part of his marathon training, my buddy Tyler roped me into 4 days of intensive, 5-8 hours/day, mountain-handcycling.  Going straight up a dirt path for miles is not a joke!  Tough workout.  This was all put on by the National Abilities Center in Park City, which is truly incredible.  Love those guys.  

More photos from The MOFO Ride here if interested.

• October 2017: Parents move to Dallas: My brother Marc is in Dallas.  My mom tried to do a triple flip and instead just tripped over a chair behind her at church, resulting in a shattered shoulder and requiring yet another titanium installation.  My parents tell me this was their wake up call.  They realized life was short and they didn't want to spend it so far from their kids.  Seattle is crazy expensive and old people get cold easy, so Dallas made more sense.  They are actually visiting us in a week so they are definitely making good on their commitment to see us more often, which Marc and I both love.  But it also ends an era in Kentucky.  Both my parents were born and raised around Louisville.  Holidays won't be the same without frequently seeing my Aunt Cha, Uncle Lee, their kids/my cousins Beth and Ellee and their significant others Chris and Kurt, respectively.  Also Beth's kids CJ and Saylor.  It's just not going to be the same.  Cha still sends us loving texts and cards in the mail all the time.  Funny blurbs like, "The more wine I have the more you make sense."  Ellee just got a sweet new gig basically running a hospital in northern KY.  Beth and Chris are killing it running their own business.  I miss them all.  Will have to make some trips back for Derby or to get bourbon or something as an excuse to see them.

• November 2017: Got a house: Making roots in Seattle?  Rebecca and I decided to gamble and enter the INSANE (truly, it is completely bizarre) real estate market here.  It only took 3 tries and competing against anywhere from 8 to 13 other people.  But whatever - we have a house now.  It has a handful of steps so I get to throw my wheelchair up and down them every day.  In other words, it needs some minor changes but we love it.  Also Rebecca's sister Deborah lives in the dungeon of a basement.  We occasionally let her come up for sunlight.  Just kidding - she can come up for sun whenever she wants.... unless it's 90% of the days during winter in Seattle, when the sun ceases to exist.

• Christmas / New Years Eve 2017: Great times with family as Rebecca's brother Stephen, his wife Leah, and their baby Sam joined us, coming all the way from Kyrgyzstan.  Then we headed down to San Diego to meet yet another Maier baby and the majority of the other Maiers and spouses.  Very fun times and much needed sunlight.  It even snowed for Christmas.

I was not on this hike but pretty sweet pic.

• February 2018: Beagle's New Job: Rebecca (aka the Beagle) started working for a management consulting firm here called Prime8.  I don't know if that's a pun for gorillas or something - don't quite get it.  But seems like a challenging gig that uses at least some of her many, many, incredible talents.  

So that's it for now.  You are all caught up.  Life is good.  We feel very grateful lately.  It helps that we are both working for about the first time since we've known each other, we are fairly settled in Seattle, and things are generally positive.  Go life.  

If you're curious, I'm still making progress that is best correlated to how quickly the coastline is receding, i.e. very slowly, but definitely happening, even though it may not seem like it.  I'll give more updates and maybe a video on that soon. 

Dear God, thank You for all You've done for me.  I don't know if "blessed" is the word (You know I've never been comfortable saying that), but I feel very grateful.  So thanks.  Please help me to stay focused;  help me to have a positive impact on lives around me.  Let Your love shine through.  Help me to laugh and not be serious all the time.  Don't let negativity invade my thinking since it usually accomplishes nothing, anyway.  All meaningful things are accomplished through positivity, through You.  Refine me.  Use me however best suits You.  Things tend to go better that way.  Amen.

'Til next time- 

Chip 

Long Time No Post

It's been some time since I've posted.  As I've alluded to before, after a while it begins to feel self-serving and attention-seeking.  I don't want to be either of those things, and so I will only post when I have something relevant to share.  In this instance, I don't know for sure that what sharing is relevant, but I wanted to record my current recovery progress, nonetheless, in case it helps anyone out there.

Physical Recovery

As far as my physical recovery, I am still progressing, but it is extremely slowly.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually recovering at all or just getting better and more acquainted with what I already have.  A few notables:

- Earlier, in the summer, I was able to take something like 15 or 20 steps at my parents' house, completely unassisted.  This was extremely difficult and probably took 2-3 minutes.  At the end, I was exhausted and my back was all cramped up.  But I did it.  I also couldn't help but slowly drift to the right, due to my right leg and foot being far more capable than my left (laggard Louie).  You would think this would cause me to drift to the left, but it does not.  I can offer nothing as to why.
- I've learned that I can walk with a grocery cart, if I want, at places like the grocery or Target.  CostCo carts are the best since they are huge but unfortunately so is CostCo.  There is a short example of this in the video below.  It's not easy and more of a workout, really.
- I've taken physical therapy back up here in DC.  The therapist is not a spinal cord specialist, so it's interesting to see his approach.  We are working on simple mechanics like putting weight on my left leg, then the right, repeat.  I like it.
- Left Leg Louie is definitely stronger.  Hard to say "significantly," but I can definitely notice that I put weight on him more often.  For instance, I get out of the shower by throwing out Louie first, leaving him to stand virtually and precariously on his own with just my right crutch and my left hand on a doorknob as Ralph follows. I don't think I could have done that last year.  Before it would have been all arms.
- On a good day, I can kind of throw myself forward and stand up from my wheelchair with no assistance.  Usually takes 3-4 tries.  It is not at all pretty, but there you have it.

Mentality/Attitude in Relation to Injury

I am adding this because it occurred to me that my way of dealing with the accident, i.e. this blog and other things, is what interests most people.  I don't really know why I reacted the way I did.  I have some theories and the video below is essentially one of them.  But it is probably good to talk about, anyway, and I am perfectly fine with sharing it with others, again with the hope that it benefits somebody.

- At the outset of the injury, probably for two years, I basically had large mood swings for the first time in my life.  I would be extremely positive for days and give therapy my all.  Then I would get down in the dumps about everything.  Sometimes even just going out to dinner with Rebecca would go from being a fun night to a stressful event if there were stairs or an inaccessible bathroom.  Luckily, with few exceptions, therapy and working out generally lifted my spirits.  It is hard to focus your energy on improvements and maintain negativity.

- Nowadays, I don't have mood swings, really.  More like prolonged optimistic or pessimistic periods. When I'm positive, nothing can bring me down.  When I'm negative, seeing someone running or biking pisses me off.  I know it shouldn't but it does.  I'm also better at recognizing when each is happening.  It is strange to be down and then look back on a positive month and think, "What the heck was I so happy about?"  Or look back at a down month and think, "Why did I allow myself to get so down? Life is great!"  At the moment and even as I write this it is clear that I can't really trust my feelings.  I can only trust hard truths.  In the long-term, though, I seem to be an optimist, for reasons unknown to me.  I have no idea why, really, but it is a truth I can lean on.  That makes me laugh as I write it.  So who the heck knows? God, but He isn't sharing any of this with me, sadly.  He knows all and shares sparingly.

Presentation for Sister Beth

My sister-in-law that is also a "sister" aka nun, Beth (officially, though, Sister Mary Benedicta), is working with the University of Notre Dame in Australia.  She gave a talk recently about gratitude and positivity to a few hundred women, I guess, and asked me to make a short video about how I used those things in relation to my accident/condition.  Here it is for your viewing pleasure.  FYI the part at the beginning is in reference to Movember, the charity for men's health that started in Australia.  I don't want you to be caught off guard by my atrocious 'stache from 2012.

FYI if I didn't make it clear already, I don't always feel so great about life.  I try to, but it's impossible to be positive all the time.  I hate it when people give presentations and make it seem like they are the ones that figured it out and everything is roses and just peachy for them all the time.  Life's not like that for anybody, regardless of how much people try to make it appear that way (you only put your absolute best moments on Facebook, right? Here's me smiling with all my friend(s)/spouse/SO/family because life is amazing!).  Noting wrong with that, of course :)

Dear Lord, keep me humble but also keep me confident in my abilities.  Don't let me be cocky about anything but also don't let me doubt myself.  Help me to find that delicate middle ground where I can serve You the best.  Utilize me in this world as best You can and help me not stress about how exactly things will turn out in the end.  Help me to be grateful for things I have and not focus so much on things I don't have.  Be with everyone and help us all to keep You at the forefront of our minds this holiday season.  Let our priorities be as they should be and not upside down as so often happens.  Let us worry about giving and not about taking.  Let us be self-aware and also others-aware.  Fill us all with the love and happiness that Your spirit provides.  Thanks.  In Your name, Amen.  

Thanks,
Chip

Praying for God's Will -

Recently I've been reading a book called The Circle Maker, by Mark Batterson.  Mark is the lead pastor of National Community Church, where I have lately been attending since moving here to D.C.  The book was actually given to me as a free takeaway after attending a service at their Barracks Row campus at The Miracle Theatre.

The Circle Maker is about praying circles around your biggest dreams and fears; about praying about humanly unattainable things in order to push our faith further and to trust in God.

One thing that came up in the book and turned into a discussion with my mom was the idea of praying for things according to God's will.  By that I mean a prayer such as, "Dear Lord, I'd really like this job.  If it is Your will, let it be so!"  Now, on the surface, this prayer sounds not all that selfish and pretty great.  But there are a couple possible risks in there to be wary of.  

Both of them are in the "If it is Your will, let it be so!"  I have been praying some version of that for at least a decade.  "Help me to follow Your will," or "Please show me Your will," or, like the example, "Please let this be Your will."  Again, there is really nothing wrong with these, as written.  We genuinely would like to know God's will so that it would be a heck of a lot easier to go about life.  But really, all we are doing is asking God to do something for us.  We are not being proactive about it.  I'm not saying that we can presume to know God's will or that we can do things without God. I'm simply saying that we can make an educated guess about it and take some action so that we aren't just sitting around waiting for something to happen.

The main risk is that you use "Let it be Your will," or "Show me Your will," as a cop out.  If the thing doesn't work out, or if the answer to your prayer is in the negative, then you can say, "Well I guess it wasn't in God's will!"  Or if you still don't have a good grip on God's will, you can say, "Well I guess He hasn't shown it to me, yet!  Sure wish he would!"  His will is written all through the bible and, especially, the new testament.  Love one another.  There you go.  Start there.

So, instead of praying, "Let it be Your will," I'm going to try and idea I got about this based on something in Les Miserables by Victor Hugo (the original book, not the musical!)  I'm gonna try praying, "Okay God.  I believe it is Your will for _____ to happen.  To show you how much I believe it is Your, I am going to do everything in my power to make it happen.  I will work as hard as I can to achieve it.  If You help me, then it will surely come about.  I will do my best to do Your will, always.  But I will DEFINITELY fail since I am not perfect and so please help me be more disciplined about it.  However, in regards to the prayer at hand, this is me letting you know that I am going full steam ahead here so if it's not in Your will, You'd better stop me."

For those interested, I have pasted the passage from Les Miserables that gave me the idea at the bottom of this blog.

-Chip

P.S. - Les Miserables, along with many other copyright-expired books, is free on Kindle (or other e-readers).  The entire book is filled with examples of following God's will and being morally just.  It's actually a great Christian read, in my humble opinion.  It is quite long, though.  And somewhat dense.

Edit: I have finished Les Miserables.  While it is a great book with poetic writing, an incredible story line and tones of historical information, I will add that there were long sections where Victor Hugo basically went on rants about the structure of society, or historical attributes of barricades, or simply street layouts of France at that time.  About halfway through the book I started skipping over these sections.  I'm still a Jean Valjean fan, though.

In this passage, Jean Valjean is following what he believes to be God's will and doing all in his power to accomplish the task of traveling to a court in Arras, even though it means being condemned and sent to prison. The authorities there believe they have captured a Jean Valjean and the true Valjean is intent on saving that innocent man.  He would rather suffer than to betray God.  On the way to Arras, though, his cart broke.

It was evident that Providence was intervening. That it was it who had broken the wheel of the tilbury and who was stopping him on the road. He had not yielded to this sort of first summons; he had just made every possible effort to continue the journey; he had loyally and scrupulously exhausted all means; he had been deterred neither by the season, nor fatigue, nor by the expense; he had nothing with which to reproach himself. If he went no further, that was no fault of his. It did not concern him further. It was no longer his fault. It was not the act of his own conscience, but the act of Providence. He breathed again. He breathed freely and to the full extent of his lungs for the first time since Javert's visit. It seemed to him that the hand of iron which had held his heart in its grasp for the last twenty hours had just released him. It seemed to him that God was for him now, and was manifesting Himself. He said himself that he had done all he could, and that now he had nothing to do but retrace his steps quietly. If his conversation with the wheelwright had taken place in a chamber of the inn, it would have had no witnesses, no one would have heard him, things would have rested there, and it is probable that we should not have had to relate any of the occurrences which the reader is about to peruse; but this conversation had taken place in the street. Any colloquy in the street inevitably attracts a crowd. There are always people who ask nothing better than to become spectators. While he was questioning the wheelwright, some people who were passing back and forth halted around them. After listening for a few minutes, a young lad, to whom no one had paid any heed, detached himself from the group and ran off. At the moment when the traveller, after the inward deliberation which we have just described, resolved to retrace his steps, this child returned. He was accompanied by an old woman. "Monsieur," said the woman, "my boy tells me that you wish to hire a cabriolet." These simple words uttered by an old woman led by a child made the perspiration trickle down his limbs. He thought that he beheld the hand which had relaxed its grasp reappear in the darkness behind him, ready to seize him once more. He answered:— "Yes, my good woman; I am in search of a cabriolet which I can hire." And he hastened to add:— "But there is none in the place." "Certainly there is," said the old woman. "Where?" interpolated the wheelwright. "At my house," replied the old woman. He shuddered. The fatal hand had grasped him again. The old woman really had in her shed a sort of basket spring-cart. The wheelwright and the stable-man, in despair at the prospect of the traveller escaping their clutches, interfered. "It was a frightful old trap; it rests flat on the axle; it is an actual fact that the seats were suspended inside it by leather thongs; the rain came into it; the wheels were rusted and eaten with moisture; it would not go much further than the tilbury; a regular ramshackle old stage-wagon; the gentleman would make a great mistake if he trusted himself to it," etc., etc. All this was true; but this trap, this ramshackle old vehicle, this thing, whatever it was, ran on its two wheels and could go to Arras. 

3 Year Anniversary and Other Updates

Well, it's officially been over three years since that Easter Sunday when I told Stephen and Leah, "You go ahead to church, I'll ride my scooter there and meet you."  What a cost for laziness!  On the way home I was hit by a van, changing my life forever (along with the lives of friends and family).  Everything below my belly button was paralyzed.  The doctor told me I had almost no chance of walking again, then pulled my parents aside and told them, "I didn't have the heart to tell him that there is really no chance of him walking again.  He will be in a wheelchair for life."  With prayer and modern medicine (which I believe is also a blessing from God but that is a theological discussion for another time), I regained sensation and motion all the way down to my toes.  Rebecca was in Mozambique and took the next flight home, unaware of what exactly had happened.

I've come a heck of a long way since then.  It's hard to believe sometimes, since of course I tend to dwell on what I CAN'T do.  It's hard not to when I used to run marathons and bike all around downtown Chicago.  But I have much to be thankful for, truly.  I have a great support system in my family.  There is still plenty that I am capable of doing, even physical.  My upper body works overtime now and there is a very good chance that regardless of who you are, I can bench more than you and do more dips.  Ha!  Benefits of using the wheelchair and crutches constantly.  And my stamina has increased a ton in the past few years.  It's no big deal to take my wheelchair for miles throughout DC, where we now live.  It's a workout, sure, but I don't really breath hard or anything.  Anyway, on to the updates!

I'm still recovering, definitely.  I stand in the shower and use both hands to bath and shampoo which I don't think I could do a year ago.  I can easily get up from the ground using my crutches or really anything.  I'm up to something like 20 steps using absolutely nothing, even though it's mainly my right leg (Ralph) and so I tend to kind of drift to the right while I walk like that.  And that is with no braces, too.  My brace for Louie is in the closet just in case, but I haven't used it in months.  That's pretty nice to say.  Here are a few other random ways of showing my progress, with some other random pics included:





My family recently all met up in Gulf Shores for a beach vacation.  I insisted on going deep sea fishing, not sure if I was even able to do it.  Happily, I did, and the crew kept giving me some sort of fancy bait that allowed me to catch way more than everyone else.  All red snapper.  We had a feast afterwards.  Left to right: Me, brother Marc, his girlfriend Alyssa, and my dad.



I tried fishing standing like everyone else for a few minutes.  The fact that some of the fish we were catching were 25-30 pounds and took a ton of work to pull in (not to mention we were on a rocking boat) explained why half the crew looked at me like I would go over the rail at any moment.  I reeled in my line to check the bait and as the large hook swung around in the air, I decided it would be easier to grab it seated.  The crew looked thankful and went back to whatever it was they were doing.



When we hit the beach, I decided I was gonna get in the ocean if it killed me.  That's me and my brother Marc in the pic.  I can walk okay if I hold onto the shoulders of the person in front of me.  But that's on dry, flat land with shoes on.  Walking in sinking sand with water splashing around worked just enough to get me into knee-high water, at which point I promptly fell on my side and made my way out to deeper waters.  It was cool, though!  My spastic legs made a board out of themselves so that I basically didn't need a raft.  Not bad, legs.



Marc and I post ocean excursion.  Not long after seeing this picture I decided to cut my own hair.  Rebecca said I did a good job at it so screw you, Super Cuts.  I don't need your cheap and unpredictable haircuts anymore!



Dad and I successfully completed the first 5 holes at Sleep Hollow, which we had played about 1000 times over the years, before my legs started giving out. especially Louie, the bastard.  Come on Louie I want to play more golf!!!! As a reminder, Louie is my rebellious left leg that refuses to listen to me, even when it's in his interest to do so.

We worked out a system so that I would tell my dad what club I wanted, position myself with my crutches by the ball, trade the crutches for the club, smack it, then trade back.  It worked well.  I drove the cart, too, which was cool.  Ralph's foot works just fine, by the way.  So I drive all the time now.  I am lucky that Louie isn't needed to drive otherwise I'd crash immediately.  Or just not drive, I guess.

Clearly I am extremely graceful.  

This is me whacking at the ball on a driving range and also an example of how I managed to beat my dad at golf by 4 strokes over 5 holes.  I think my lack of lower body movement made the ball go straight, which was nice.  My form is obviously flawless.  I'm happy to give lessons for a fee.

I've learned that I can walk with a shopping cart at places like the grocery and Target.  I can't do it all day or anything but it's great therapy.  If I push down on the cart too much it does a wheelie.

I also played around with the filter on my phone with some pics of our dog, Tucky.  This has absolutely nothing to do with anything.  I just like them.








Well that's about it.  Rebecca and I moved to DC about a month ago.  We live in what I consider to be a fancy apartment in the NOMA neighborhood downtown, very close to the Capitol building.  As an example of the fanciness of our building, here is Rebecca washing Tucky in the pet room which includes a dog-washing station.



DC is cool.  Very busy and everyone is ambitious, it seems like.  I guess they have to be to pay the pricey rent.  Rebecca started is back doing international work and will be traveling soon to Mongolia and Rwanda.  I'm still figuring out what's next but am certainly eager to work.

I'm also going to be starting a new blog where I can write more often.  I don't write as much here because it was predicated on informing how my recovery and progress were going.  Since recovery is fairly slow now, there's not a need to write very often.  I'll still occasionally post here, but I'm going to start another blog that is more about everything else in life and not so much about my recovery.

Since a friend mentioned she liked the "how easy it is to come by" part, I'll share what has become the basics of our dinner prayer:

Dear Lord, thank You for this food and the hands that made it.  Thank you for how easy it is to come by.  Guide us in all we do.  Align our wills with Yours.  Help us to understand how best to serve You and how best to use our lives.  Be with our family and friends and guide them, as well.  Thanks for Tucky, too.  In Jesus name, Amen.  

Good night!

Chip

Moving Mattresses (Pt. 2)

You may have read about my insane desire to move a bunch of beds around in Cape Town to surprise Rebecca.  Long story short, to this day she doesn't understand how I was able to move huge mattresses and heavy bed frames in and out of bedrooms.  All in a wheelchair.  It still confuses her.  Mission accomplished.

This is part two of the same theme.  Here in Chapel Hill, Rebecca is finishing up her MBA studies.  We know that soon we will (hopefully) be working again and so one thing we have both done is utilize the time to travel and see friends and family.  A big one for me was visiting my brother-in-law and his wife in Kyrgyzstan.  Shortly after arriving in our second apartment (another story) in Chapel Hill, Rebecca visited friends and family on the west coast, leaving me at home to organize and take care of our dog, Tucky.

One downside of the new apartment was that, while fully-furnished, the bed was tiny and uncomfortable.  I flop around all night.  Basically I have restless leg syndrome on steroids and I try and rectify it by getting into a sideways push-up position and then flipping in the air, landing on the bed and often waking up my sleeping wife.  Rebecca also has a habit where she unconsciously insists on being in the middle of the bed, letting me know she has accomplished her goal by sleep-slapping me in the chest or, on special occasions, in the face.  Sometimes I am having one of my all-too-regular middle of the night reading sessions and am treated to this performance as a spectator and not as an unwilling victim.  She groans, rolls towards me, and swings her long arm high in the air, hand relaxed, landing finally on my chest.  It makes me laugh.  It's odd how high her arm gets.  She is either dreaming of giving a vicious haymaker to someone in a fight or maybe just a huge hug.  Her other arm is trapped against the bed so it's hard to tell.

Back to the story.  I had become determined to have a repeat performance of musical beds before she returned.  This time I decided to have other people do the lifting as much as possible.  We needed a nice queen or king bed but only for the two months before the lease was up, thus not worth much investment.  This was the dilemma.  My answer was Craigslist.  I had recently read of a study showing that people were more willing to help out of kindness than they would help for a dollar amount.  This seemed like an opportune time to test the theory.

Instead of searching for cheap mattresses, I put the maximum price as $0.  Surprisingly, several were for sale at this price.  This alone proved the theory, I thought.  Many looked like garbage but some were quite nice.  The first two I called were already taken.  Third time's a charm.  The girl said that her boyfriend was moving in and they each had a nice mattress and needed to get rid of one.  Great!  I immediately agreed to pick it up that same night, as she had other interested parties and was only giving to me since I was first to respond.  I was not in a position to negotiate.  At this point, I did not have a way of getting the mattress and she lived in Cary, NC, annoyingly.  Did I mention that we don't own a car?

I called up a couple places before quickly settling on trustworthy U-Haul.  I took an Uber to get the truck.  I realized that I had no way of moving the mattress (and box springs) from the current owner's apartment to the U-Haul, nor from the U-Haul into my current 6th floor apartment.  Another dilemma.

On the way to get the U-Haul, I texted the mattress giver and asked if she had a way of getting the items into the truck.  I asked about the boyfriend she mentioned and also brought up my wheelchair.  She said her boyfriend could help.  Great!

For help with the arrival to my apartment, I was bewildered.  I thought and thought and realized I had done a poor job of making the kind of friends that would move a mattress in a pinch.  In truth, I had done a very good job at avoiding making new friends altogether.  But now I am friends with a pastor and a couple other members of a church here so I suppose I failed at total solitude in the end.

Back to Craigslist to perform the true part of the kindness experiment.  I posted the following ad:

Move a Mattress and Box Springs

Hi - I'm asking you to help me out!  I am disabled and am trying to move a mattress and box springs into my apartment today.  I have a spinal cord injury and am in a wheelchair so I can't really move it without damn near killing myself in the effort!  I'm asking you for a favor, here.

All I need are a couple guys to move a queen mattress and box spring from the U-Haul to my apartment TONIGHT.  There is an elevator - no stairs.  It will be around 8 or 8:30.  If you are willing to help, text me and let me know and I'll give you the address and exact time.

NO PAY

Now, the response to this ad is the true reason why I have written about this event in my life.  Within an hour I had 4 responses from willing candidates!  Within 2 hours I had several more.  I couldn't believe it!  My cynical side starting thinking, "They are just trying to take advantage of me somehow.  Maybe they will see it as an opportunity to rob a helpless victim."  I decided that was a terrible way to think and also that it was unlikely that there were so many thieves out there.  I also decided that risking it and possibly getting robbed was better than not risking it at the potential of robbery.  That would be no way to live.

I worked things out with one of the first to respond and everything was set.  

I drove the U-Haul to Cary, NC.  Check.

Girl and boyfriend loaded their very nice but used queen mattress and box spring into said U-Haul.  Check.

Drove back to Chapel Hill, first texting the guy to meet me and help unload.  Check.

Worry about helplessly getting robbed and immediately purge thought from mind.  Unplanned but check.

The guy was a little late but he said he was dropping off his mom somewhere.  I figured a thief wouldn't say something like that and relaxed a little.  

A beat up car rolled up close to my apartment blasting loud rap music.  A very fit and fairly intimidating (to me, at least) black guy got out from one side, and a younger black guy got out of the other side.  Lots of smoke with the distinct smell of marijuana rolled out of the open car doors.  

"Hi... I'm Chip.  Are you Joe?"

"Yeah man.  What's up.  Is this it?" Joe pointed at the U-Haul.

"Yep.  Thanks guys.  I can open doors for you but otherwise would probably just get in the way if I tried to help."  

"It's all good, man.  We got you.  This here is my nephew."  "Hi." "Hi."

At this point I feel like an ass for judging at all based on appearances.   But my stupid brain still can't believe this is happening for free.  

They begin unloading the mattress and taking it up the walkway, through the doors and into the elevator.  Joe had to kind of bend and squish the mattress to make it fit in the elevator.  

We didn't talk much.  I showed them around, generally not being much help.  I had already moved the smaller mattress and frame (it was really light) out into the living room so they could just walk in and plop down the mattress.  

We went back down to get the box springs, walked through the doors and into the elevator.... trying.... stand upright?.... no... crap.  It didn't fit.  

Joe said, "Well, so much for that.  Where are the stairs?"  He didn't seem upset in the slightest, nor did the nephew.
"Joe! Crap man I'm sorry.  I thought it would fit.  Just leave it here.  I will figure it out or something.  I can't ask you guys to take this thing up 6 flights of steps!"  I figured I'd just throw it out and sleep on the mattress on the floor or something.

"Chip it's no biggie.  My nephew needs a workout.  Where are the stairs?"  I couldn't believe it and also felt terrible.  I pointed to the stairs, took the elevator up, then went to the stairwell and looked down.

"I know this wasn't in your plans.  Sorry."  

"Really it's no biggie."

"....So....do you guys just scour Craigslist looking for people you can help out?  Or how did you come across my ad?"  

"Well I run a moving business during the day.  Sometimes I find folks that will pay for little things like this on the side.  I do it all day anyway so it's no big deal.  But when I saw your ad, my nephew here had gotten in trouble at school, so I figured it was a good way for him to do something good to make up for the bad thing."  

"I see.  Well that makes sense."

I insisted on giving them some gas money but still couldn't believe all this.  I went in, sprayed some disinfectant on the mattress which clearly cost over $1000 brand new, put a perfect fitting foam pad on the top, made the bed with clean sheets, and tested it out.  It was awesome!  I smiled a giant smile.  Rebecca was gonna love this.

And she did.  She made me tell her the story and kept smiling and laughing the whole time.  She has been begging me to write about it ever since.   

I continued to get responses on Craigslist from people wanting to help.  Instead of deleting, I added this to the post:

UPDATE: I HAD QUITE A FEW RESPONSES TO THIS - ALL PEOPLE WILLING TO HELP ME MOVE A HEAVY MATTRESS AND ITS BOX SPRING - ALL FOR FREE!  MY FAITH IN HUMANITY WAS RESTORED.  THANK YOU SO MUCH!  AND THANK YOU TO YOU AND YOUR NEPHEW, JOE!

Here's to Joe and his nephew, wherever they are.

Not Entirely Voluntary Workout

I'd say involuntary workout, but it wasn't like someone forced me to do it.   Rebecca, Tucky and I just moved into a new apartment close to UNC where she (Rebecca, not Tucky) is a "foreign exchange" student.  We live on the 6th floor with a nice balcony.  It came furnished, including a large (60"?) TV that has what looks like a large green moon taking up approximately 30% of the screen (guessing some party got out of hand) and is generally dim, since it's old.  Also a bed that is supposedly a queen but what I now refer to as an African Queen, which is basically the opposite of a California King.  Our feet hang off the bottom and we bumped into each other all night, barely sleeping.  But this story is not about that.

Yesterday Rebecca flew to California to see friends and family in what is probably (/hopefully) the limited time remaining when we aren't employed.  I got in my chair and took Tucky out for a walk this morning.  We got in the elevator and I pushed "1." But the elevator was not in the mood to be ordered around, or rather up and down, and let me out at the basement.  Tucky and I were fine with that as we wanted to explore, anyway.  So we went out the back door and wandered around a bit.  After Tucky did her business, we went back inside and took the disgruntled elevator back up.  At our desired 6th floor, the elevator laughed at us and took us straight back down to the basement.  Not one to give up easily (nor Tucky), I repressed "6" and refused to get out.  The elevator took us back up to 6, hesitated briefly, then laughed and said, "Yeah right, sucka!" and took us back down to the basement.  At this point we decided to part ways with the hellevator, which had added violent shakes to its erratic behavior.  We departed and waited until it headed back up to the 6th floor (we could only assume, however it may have very well known that we had left), then pressed the "up" button, hoping the other elevator would treat us better.  Unfortunately, the hellevator had apparently knocked its more innocent brother into a coma, leaving it incapacitated on the first floor.  Instead of the other elevator, the hellevator came back down, opened, and laughed its evil laugh.  Tucky looked at me, clearly as frustrated as I was.

We went back outside and up the hill of the parking lot and made our way around and up to the first floor to talk with the office management, passing the poor, comatose elevator on the way, it's mouth frozen open. In the office, they told me the repairmen were told to come out ASAP since there were no working elevators.  I felt sorry for them since they clearly hadn't had to deal with a guy in a wheelchair and his dog while elevators were out before.  When I said I couldn't really get upstairs to my apartment, Dallas said, "Yeah... ummm...  hmmmm...." in a kind of genuinely helpless way.  It was decided that Dallas (they have names like that in North Carolina) would walk Tucky back upstairs, get my brace and crutches so I could walk up the stairs, and bring the chair up when the elevators were working again.  I broke the news to him that if they weren't working in the next few hours, he was going to need to bring the chair up 6 flights of stairs.  "No problem."  Dallas is a good guy.

The 6 flights of stairs and I guess also the hill to get to the 1st floor were my not entirely voluntary workout.  I could have just sat downstairs or gone to a coffee shop I guess, so it wasn't a forced workout, which would have made it involuntary.   I should add that I feel grateful that I was able to walk up the stairs.  Some of my friends could not have done that and would have had to go hang out at the coffee shop.  For this reason I now recommend not taking your wheelchair into an elevator wearing pajamas.

First Day Back in Therapy -

Yesterday I started therapy back up for the first time since I think April 2014.  I'll be going 2-3 times a week at Norton's Rehab Center in Louisville, Kentucky.  I'm pretty excited about it.  They are somewhat overshadowed by but no less qualified and able than Frazier's Rehab in Louisville.  Frazier's gets all the funding by the Reeves Foundation and have had breakthroughs in a couple studies.  But for basic therapy, Norton's is equally as good (supposedly).

Yesterday I had my assessment test, similar to what I regularly did with Tiffany and Walter at RIC.  I still can't step up with my left leg, however when I tried I was able to lift it off the ground an inch or two and hold it there.  So there is hope!!!  I still can't stand from a chair without using my arms to push off, but it is far easier.  I'm hopeful that at some point in the future I will cross the breaking point and no longer need to use my hands to stand.  Overall my back, while still weaker than before the accident, is much stronger than it was a year ago.  Especially my upper back.  My lower back has a ways to go, still.  I don't know if the fact that there is a titanium cage in my lower back has anything to do with it.  I don't think so.  It is just atrophied from barely using it for so long.

There were two pieces of the test that I passed with flying colors that I couldn't do a year ago.  One is to turn in a full circle - 360 degrees - without the use of crutches or anything.  I think there is also a test to do in under a minute because when I started turning without too much trouble using baby steps, Kara, my new therapist, said, "We should have timed this..."  But I was able to baby step my way fully around!  Cool...

The other test was to pick up an object from the ground from a standing, unassisted position.  Kara had me pick up a magic marker.  I put my left hand on my left leg (Louie) to steady it, but otherwise was able to bend over, pick it up, and return to standing straight up without terrible trouble.  I mean, it was HARD, but I was able to do it!  So...yeah... progress.

I will try and get a video and/or some pics once actual therapy starts.  I should have gotten one of me turning and picking up the marker.  Oh well.

Dear Lord, thank You for the healing I've experienced to date and for the progress I continue to make.  Please allow these new therapy sessions to yield fruitful results.  Heal me, Lord!  Let me be fully healed.  But also, thank You for strengthening me with Your Holy Spirit so that I can go about life with confidence and ambition, moreso than I've ever had before.  Please help everyone with their own personal struggles and journeys.  Strengthen us all and make us resilient, wise, and confident in the paths You have laid out before us, regardless of what they look like.  Amen.

I hope everyone is enjoying the Christmas and holiday season no matter where you are in the world.

Chip

Kyrgyzstan Part II: Nature Exploration

We are having tons of fun here!  

And it is way more beautiful than I would have ever imagined once you get out into nature, which is the vast majority of the country.  After a couple more interesting stops in the city, Stephen, Leah and I headed out for a tour of a few cooler places surrounding Lake Issyk Kul (Hot Lake), which is one of the largest salt water lakes in the world.  Here is the story in pictures.

Similar to underground walkways in Chicago, this pathway was how to cross one of the busiest streets in Bishkek.  I was shocked to see it jam-packed with vendors selling all assortments of merchandise: sunglasses, shampoo, art, etc.  My picture does not do a good job of showing that.  I think that girl was annoyed that I was taking a picture.

I caught the changing of the guard!  They walk slowly back to their... barracks(?), goose-stepping it in style.

The next day we began our trip.

On the 4-hour drive to our first stop, we occasionally had to deal with herds of cattle or sheep. 

This is the yurt camp where we stayed the first night.  You can see the mountains in the far background.  Yurts are like fancier versions of tee-pees or huts.  They have a somewhat complex latticework holding them up, while being layered in what I guess used to be sheep's hide, but now is very, very thick wool or cotton.

The entrance is through small wooden doors.  Then a giant hide flap folds over those to keep the heat in.  They reminded us of Smurf huts.  We met a few others staying in the camp including a couple guys from Slovakia and a girl from Vienna, Austria.  We got to know each other over a traditional community-style dinner in the dining yurt.

This is what the dining yurt looked like inside, kind of.  I didn't meet these people.  I stole this picture from the internet.

We slept in a yurt like this (also stolen from internet).  The blankets were surprisingly thick, heavy, and very warm.

All those wooden supports meet in the center at the top of the yurt.  The sun shining through the opening (this one is covered) is the basis for their flag:

The next day we explored a really cool nature park.  This was one of several connected rock formations.  We even saw some mountain goats walking up those cracks.

We had to wait while a pretty large horse drive (80-100 horses!) moved past us down the mountain.  All summer, livestock grazes on the hills higher up the mountain.  They head down to the valleys and plains for the winter months.

Some semi-domesticated turkeys, clearly not intimidated by us.

We stumbled upon this cool area fairly high up the trail and decided to stop for lunch.

I couldn't believe I was looking at this while eating lunch.  Ridiculous.  The grass is short from all the animals eating it.  Cool huh?  No mower!

I think the dogs just wanted some of our food.

My favorite pic from the trip.

We were sitting on yet another rudimentary bridge.  They were all pretty sturdy but I still help my breath every time we crossed one.  We saw one made out of an old shipping container.  I wish I had taken a picture of it.  Sorry.

This is another park we went to on the trip.  One thing that stood out was all the golden aspens we saw everywhere.  This picture doesn't do it justice at all.  Up close and caught by the sun, they looked like glittering gold leaves.  Really cool.

Back in Bishkek!  Last night Stephen had hockey practice so I went to check it out.  I think he's the one in the back in yellow.  Fun times.

I head back to Cape Town tomorrow morning.  It's been a really awesome stay here.  The best part has been catching up with Stephen and Leah.  Bonuses include seeing awesome nature, meeting Russians and Kyrgyz and being able to at least start conversations with them, and learning about the culture and history of this town.

My secondary goal of testing my ability to get around in a 3rd world country has certainly been achieved here.  I am very happy to see that, while I clearly can't do everything a typical person could do, I can manage alright... ESPECIALLY when I have awesome friends to help me get around everywhere.  I see no reason why I would be unable to travel to pretty much anywhere.  People everywhere I go are consistently willing to help me whenever I need it.  Here in Kyrgyzstan, random strangers have carried my wheelchair up a flight of stairs, helped me out of cabs, retrieved my crutches for me, etc., all while barely being able to communicate with me.  I'm increasingly convinced that people are inherently good with good intentions.  We may get side-tracked with selfish motives or ambition, but overall I think people want to do what is good and right.  

Dear Lord, thanks for this awesome experience.  Thanks for Stephen and Leah for helping out so much and being such great friends.  Help me to continue to live my life unrestrained by my physical limitations.  Let me remember that when we partner with others, we can always accomplish more and that when we partner with You, we can accomplish the most.  Guide us in all we do.  Remind us that ambition without concern for Your will is a chasing of the wind.  Everything we do that is not for You is meaningless.  Please keep healing me, and heal everyone else, too.  Help everyone through their personal struggles and remind them that keeping You close makes life so much easier.  In Your name, amen.

Cheers,
Chip

PS - I set my mom up with a blog.  She e-mails prayers ALL THE TIME to the family.  Typically they reference bible verses and quotes from authors and pastors.  I thought it was with sharing with everyone else.  If you want to check it out, here it is - http://battoeprayers.blogspot.com/