Getting a little more confident with the crutches. I made it 520 feet today on them. And that was after 1/3 of a mile on the treadmill.
Monday, 29 July 2013
Saturday, 27 July 2013
Jealousy vs. Appreciation
Yesterday in training the crutches went much smoother. Much like with the walker, it’s going to be easier and easier with the more confidence I gain. Wednesday I just walked back and forth a few times before I was exhausted (see the video I just posted). Yesterday (Friday), I walked back and forth for a while, had a conversation with Jeremy while doing it, and he also had me try a side-stepping exercise. The side-stepping was extremely hard due to the “tone” in my groin muscles. When my legs lock out (which allows me to stand and walk), my feet also like to act like magnets to each other. So side-stepping was a challenge. The plus is that after that, walking normally seemed like a breeze.
Yesterday was Jeremy’s last day. He definitely helped me a lot these last several weeks. I’ll be interested to see who fills in for him. He’s headed up to Ravenswood for the RIC therapy center there, where he’ll be one of just 3 therapists.
I didn’t mention in my last post that I walked (with walker) from my apartment all the way to Bar on Buena. It’s not a record for distance, but it’s the first time I’d walked outside of the building. I encountered uneven sidewalks like in Michigan, but also very steep corners into intersections that are even hard in a wheelchair. I also went across a high traffic crosswalk (across Broadway) for the first time. I ALMOST made it across before the light turned green again. Almost. Thank you Erik, for spotting me.
Worth noting from the walk is that 3 separate people all encouraged me along the way. One woman on a porch across the street was talking on her cell and stopped to say, “You’re doing great! You got it!” A car was driving by and the driver yelled out the window, “Nice job! Keep going!” and a guy walking the opposite direction on crutches stopped to fist bump me. He also said a prayer in arabic. I’m assuming he’s muslim. I said a quick prayer for him, as well. I have a feeling we had a mutual understanding that we were from different religions and also that we didn’t mind. Pretty cool.
Last night we saw a show at Second City with Emily and Ryan, who was in from North Dakota. It was really hilarious. I was a little bummed because the show coincided with a talk by John Piper at Moody that I really wanted to see. Next time, I guess.
On the way out of Second City, I was waiting on the crew at the bottom of the escalator. They had all gone to the bathroom. All the other people were leaving the theater and going down the escalator. I had to take the elevator - normally I’d take the escalator but it was too narrow for my wheelchair. It’s always a great reaction from people when I jump on, though!
All these people were heading down - couples, groups of friends, etc. Some were clearly heading home and some were gearing up for a night out. I got jealous again. I watched them effortlessly hop off the escalator, bounce around, goof off, boys chasing their girls, doing dips on the escalator, etc. It was kind of hard. I’m getting used to it, but at the same time you never really get used to it.
I am realizing I have a much greater respect for the human body now. Whereas before I would just be jealous and get angry when I saw people walking/running/biking/whatever, now I see their muscles and am in awe. I still get jealous, but it’s also now more an appreciation of movement. Watching people walk, move their legs while sitting - watching the muscles flex so effortlessly…. it’s really quite beautiful. For me, moving a leg is like heavy weightlifting. I know, because I used to do a lot of weightlifting. It’s exactly like that - grunting, straining, pushing… I see my calf muscle flex just a LITTLE BIT and it’s exhilarating. Then I head out to Michigan Ave to hop on the bus and the strangest things amaze me now. If someone stands on their tip-toes to get a better view, they come across as an expert gymnast to me. God really created something beautiful in the human body. Now I get more upset when I see people NOT using this gift. If I had my legs fully return to normal, I’d be overcommitting myself to all kinds of activities. I get frustrated when I see people that don’t really appreciate what they have.
When Jeremy left he said he hoped to see me around town and that if he saw me in a year, I’d probably be…. (he paused, being careful what to say) on my feet. I knew what he meant and that he was just being careful with his words. Liability and all that. I told him I hoped he was right! I hope I can walk again. I am not accepting anything less than that right now.
Dear Lord, please give me strength, healing, wisdom, and energy. Fill me with Your holy spirit. Be with Kurt and his family as his mother just passed away. Give us all a clearer path so that we know we are correctly following Your will. Thank You for my life. Thank You for my determination. I love you, Lord. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Have a great weekend -
Chip
Thursday, 25 July 2013
Crutches (again)...
Yesterday in therapy I tried forearm crutches for the first time since one of the last days as an inpatient. It went way better. I don’t know if it was my increased strength or moving from KAFOs to AFOs. Either way, it’s still very hard, but now doable. I’ve gotten pretty good with the walker but the walker doesn’t mimic a regular gait very well. Hopefully moving towards crutches will make my gait better and also allow me more flexibility with where I go. For instance, STAIRS! I also practiced stepping up and down a 4” block in therapy. And up to a 6” block. A regular step is 8” so I am getting close. I think I could probably do it - it would just be extremely hard and slow going. Chances are I’ll get my shot at it in Kentucky when I go home in a few weeks.
I met with Peggy after therapy. She’s on the board of the RIC. We had talked a few times before and I had expressed my interest in getting involved however I can. It looks like there’s a chance I can give a talk to current inpatients about what it’s like a couple months after leaving the RIC. Also I’ll hopefully be joining the associate board which raises awareness and funds for spinal cord injuries and the RIC. Pretty excited about both aspects of that!
Work in the afternoon, then small group at night. That’s about it. My dad headed back to KY for the weekend this morning.
Today was interesting. I had an ultrasound done at the request of Dr. Anschel to learn more about my bladder and kidneys. I’ll find out Monday. They let me know it would be about $500 out of my pocket. Yay! Hopefully the estimate is overblown.
After that I worked out at the RIC gym for a bit. I met a couple new guys that are my age. One guy I thought was recently injured since he was an inpatient at the same time as me. Just on a different floor. His name is Ali. It turns out he was injured 10 years ago and is just now gaining some walking function. Kind of threw me that he had been struggling for so long…
Dear Lord, thank You for giving me strength. Please give me more strength. Dear Lord, thank You for giving me wisdom. Please give me more wisdom. Dear Lord, thank You for healing me. Please keep healing me. Do the same for those that seek you. In Jesus’ name, amen.
G’night,
Chip
Tuesday, 23 July 2013
Many firsts and new PRs -
It’s been a week since my last post. I’ll try to keep this from turning into a novel, but a lot has happened.
I believe it was Tuesday last week where I left off.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Wednesday morning I did some tough training on the treadmill followed by some stretching and strengthening on the mat. That seems to be the standard now so I won’t bore you with the details.
That night I had small group at my place. We are working through Acts. Per usual, good conversation and reflection on the word.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
I had my second appointment at the RIC gym. They assessed my strengths and goals in the first session. So in this meeting, theycame up with a training program for me and walked me through it. Lots of arm work but also some good leg strengthening and cardio.
My dad and I were lucky enough to meet up with the Halls for lunch at D4, close to RIC. Jim and Connie were the ones that really, really made it easy for my parents to stick around in Chicago when I was hurt. Let’s just say they have a LOT of Marriott points. On top of that, Connie rounded up about 90 other people to also donate points. So my parents were able to stay in a nice hotel suite room for something close to 2 months. Crazy!
After meeting with the Halls I headed back to the gym to try out that workout plan. Not bad. Nice to vary it up a bit.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Rebecca and I got up early to head to Alma, Michigan, with Leah, Stephen, and Chris. It was my first time out of town since the injury. My parents were texting and emailing prayers and thoughts since they were so anxious (unnecessarily so…).
On the way there we had a lunch pitstop at Founder’s Brewery in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Great sandwiches and… beer.
The dark beer was good. The light beer was not.
We got to Alma in time for dinner with the sisters. Oh, right, so yeah, Rebecca’s sister Beth, now known as Sister Mary Benedicta, is a “sister” (they prefer “sister” to “nun”… fun fact). Alma is the home of the Sisters of Mercy, who are an amazing bunch of women. Seriously, they are perpetually smiling, laughing, and just enjoying every aspect life has to offer.
After dinner Rebecca walked with me outside on the sidewalk. It was uneven, went up and down, and also there was a small step into the house where we stayed. It was a great challenge, but nothing compared to what I did the next day. I probably walked over 1000 ft that night… no idea, really.
Saturday, July 20, 2013
We headed out to Midforest, Michigan, where Mother Mary Quentin’s family had a fair amount of land, complete with a small house on the lake, ATVs (like 6), and huge floats on the lake (trampoline, log…???).
I can’t even describe how hilarious and fun it was to participate in all of this. It seems not so long ago that I was barely able to do anything in the hospital.
After a bite for lunch, the girls went kayaking while the guys got on the ATVs for a good 2 hours. We went everywhere! I had a bit of a hard time getting on the thing but after that it wasn’t so bad. I stayed on just fine.
Here’s my favorite pic of the day:
That’s at the top of “blueberry hill”, where the sisters picked some tiny blueberries for us to eat on the spot. Pretty nice view of the area from up there, too. I seriously can’t believe this even happened! Hahaha I love that picture…
We got back from ATVing and the girls were anxious to try it out. They went for a while and I strategized about how to get into the lake. One of the sisters suggested I go to the end of the dock and kind of climb down into the lake. I opted for walking slowly down the sand bank with my walker. It seemed to work alright. I “swam” (meaning backstroke with a noodle underneath) out to the inflatable trampoline and log. There was a large floating mat which I climbed onto. It wasn’t that comfortable but every time I got into the water these tiny fish kept nibbling at me!
The mat gave me a good view of what became a contest for everyone else to see how far they could run down the log. Unassisted, I think Stephen won. Assisted (Stephen holding the end steady), Chris almost ran the whole way. I wish I had a pic of Stephen taking 4 steps and then landing on his crotch before bouncing into the water. Pretty hilarious.
I swam back and was handed my walker to get out of the water. I had to get up on my knees, then was happily able to kick my right leg forward so that I could stand. From there it was a short walk to my wheelchair just past the water where an entourage of people got me back to dry land. Pretty great and fun. Again, wish I had a pic of that!
Dinner, then back to Alma. Mother Mary Quentin (she is AWESOME) told me about her nephew that had an accident when he was 21 and is now a quadriplegic. I didn’t get to meet him but he sounds incredible. Apparently he now runs a therapy center for others with disabilities. I also learned later that he barely moved at all for the first 9 months. He was able to walk with a walker after 3-4 years of therapy. YEARS! This is going to be a long road of recovery. Maybe life long. The encouraging part is that I’m not even 4 months post-injury and am already walking around quite a bit.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Mass at 10am. Going to Park, it is definitely interesting to participate in a Mass service. This was definitely what I would call a “pure” service. Bible readings, songs, more readings, prayers, and that’s it. Short and simple. No real “message”/sermon like I am used to hearing. Pretty interesting.
I decided to walk the way to the small building where we were to have lunch with the sisters. Everyone joined me which was pretty cool. The best was walking in the middle of the road to cover the gap where there was no sidewalk.
After lunch I walked back, as well. I looked it up later - it was about 2300 ft in total, pretty much crushing my previous walker PR of 1700 ft.
We headed home and grabbed a deal at Piece to take back to the apartment. Long day.
Monday, July 22, 2013
Jeremy is transferring out of the downtown RIC location, so with his transition I got two new therapists yesterday in Sara and another with an ethnic name I can’t recall. It was great to vary it up a little. On the treadmill we did interval training (with walking… I know), and the strength training was good stuff. I can definitely tell my left leg, while still way weaker than the right leg, is slowly getting stronger.
I was in a sour mood all morning from not getting any sleep after a long weekend. Sorry for being so grumpy to you, dad. Luckily I worked in a nap after therapy and was able to get some much needed sleep Monday night.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
After getting some good sleep, I got up and headed to Dollop with Rebecca to do some work. Then I headed to a brunch meeting with Steve at Melrose Diner. Steve and I typically would meet once a week for brunch there to discuss everything with the business, but we really hadn’t officially done this since my accident. It was great to be back there. I transferred over to the booth seat and had my usual feta and spinach omelette covered in salsa. Delicious. And we got some great work done.
I jumped on the bus and headed to the RIC gym to workout. I like the new routine. It takes about 1.5 hours to complete with all the leg work. It is going to be a great complement to all the walking I’m doing. The NuStep machine is pretty awesome, too. It’s perfect for me to strengthen my legs. I’ll post a video in a sec of me using nothing but legs on it.
More work after that and here I am typing this much-delayed blog entry.
Thank you so much if you have sent me a card. Some of you have sent me LOTS of cards (you know who you are…). Aunt Cha, you are the winner. My aunt Cha sends hilarious “blurbs” all the time, such as, “I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good, either.” She’s so funny.
Thank you so much for the prayers. Thank you, Sisters of Mercy, for an amazing weekend and also for all your support and prayers.
Thank you all. I feel very blessed. This is an extremely long and difficult ordeal but I feel very loved and supported by so many loving and caring people that have entered my life. I am starting to believe that this accident was a blessing.
G’night!
Chip
Tuesday, 16 July 2013
July 16 - So tired
I am completely exhausted these last couple days. Definitely need more rest.
Yesterday I got up and went to therapy where Jeremy immediately put me on the treadmill. He really pushed me, which was awesome. I am hurting now, though. I did 4 rounds of 10 minutes on the treadmill. The first round he pushed me up to .9 mph, gradually. The second round he used this contraption that pulled my feet a little via strings attached to thick rubber bands. I got up to 1.3 mph that way. The 3rd and 4th rounds I got up to 1.1 mph. I went an extra minute at the end for the heck of it, totaling 41 minutes and 0.52 miles! I was psyched to have gone half a mile. New PRs for both time and distance.
Last night I joined up with Rebecca, Eli and Jenny at the free concert at Pritzker Pavilion.
The concert was fun but the main thing I’m happy about was that I successfully attempted getting down onto the grass without assistance. I hadn’t tried that, yet. Even better was getting back into my wheelchair from the ground. It was hard but still, happy to do it without help!
This morning was just a visit with Dr. Anschel to see how things were going. All is well.
Tonight a group of us are headed to the Book of Mormon downtown. I am pretty psyched about it as there have been pretty awesome reviews. Plus I’ll be sitting in a regular seat, which should hopefully feel good.
Other than that, trying to get more and more back into work. It’s hard to balance things with how long it takes me to do things and also all the time I have committed to my recovery.
Dear Lord, please give me strength, wisdom, and guidance. Please heal me and allow me to walk again. Please be with those in similar situations. Please be with my family and friends and ease their minds when it comes to my well-being. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Chip
Sunday, 14 July 2013
Renewed Vigor
Time since I’ve worn the brace (at all): a week
Time since living at RIC: a little over a month
My back is stronger and stronger. At first I needed to use the back of the brace in my wheelchair since the backrest is terrible. But now I don’t even need that. It pretty much sits in my closet, right where I like it.
I’ve changed up how I walk now that I have AFOs. Each step, I try to focus my energy into flexing the right muscles in each leg. Now that I can bend my knees when I walk, I can focus on the quads, straighten the leg, then try pushing off with the foot and calf. The lifting and bending of the leg is much, much harder. They still stay pretty straight. If I go super slow I can bend the right leg in the air. My steps are more sure, now. I rarely clank the metal parts against each other and I don’t “hop” unless I’m going faster. Yesterday I split up the workout into two sessions and set a new PR of 1700 ft. Pretty happy since that was with AFOs but I still want to do more and focus on my form; bend the legs more.
I think I’m gonna try going up stairs soon. I saw on youtube how to do it in a wheelchair, too. I’ll probably just try both - with just AFOs and with the wheelchair. It’ll take a little planning to make sure I don’t risk anything - so we’ll see. Sometime this coming week, maybe.
Right now I’m in the middle of something like 5-6 books. I’ve always been one to read a book until it’s finished so this is weird. So when I added yet another book to the mix the other day, I decided to plow through it. It’s called Rise and Walk by Dennis Byrd. He’s the Jets player that was paralyzed from a huge hit into another teammate in 1992. He doesn’t have the same injury as me (he is C5, I am T12) and it seems his spinal cord wasn’t damaged as much, but it was still a good read. And motivational. The way he played football and the way he trained was in a way to make sure there was nobody out there doing as much as he was. My favorite part is how in high school he wanted to practice hitting, so he but a wooden post in his yard and just get hitting it for hours until he was bleeding, exhausted, and crying. There’s a movie about him out there, too… I think I watched it forever ago.
Dennis had amazing faith in God all throughout his injury, which resonates with me. It made it far easier for him to push himself in therapy, to go about daily life, etc. Same as me. And, similar to me, even with all that, he still had extremely trying days and felt bouts of depression and loss.
His recovery sounds much like Ivan’s, an inpatient with me I may have mentioned that came here from Panama to get the finest care. Ivan was also a higher level injury, but it was what they call central cord syndrome. It means the center of the cord is damaged more than the outside. Really rare, but the result is that the return in the legs is more than the upper body. Both people mentioned have upper body return, as well, but they were able to walk with just a walker after just a couple months. Also it’s natural walking, not like me where my tone helps out a ton. Mark Stephan, the cool guy I mentioned on RIC’s board, has the same thing.
There was a really good quote that Dennis attributed to Arthur Ashe. It was his best example of how to respond when people say, “Why me?” It’s the most troublesome, deep, question that is asked by patients of all severe illnesses and injuries. Why me? Why did this have to happen to me? Why didn’t it happen to the jerk down the street? Arthur was ranked #1 in tennis in 1968. Later he had heart bypass surgery where he contracted HIV during a blood transfusion. There are two things I think about when this question comes up now:
- Arthur’s response, “If I say “Why me?’ then I’ve got to say ‘Why me?’ about all the good things that have happened in my life.”
- God knew I had the strength and faith to get through this and be that much stronger for it and better-suited to do His will.
Thanks to this book, I am once again motivated to try that much harder in my recovery. I can do more. I will do more. I will walk again. Heck, I’m already walking, just really slow and not entirely of my own accord.
Anyway, some people are coming over soon and I need to make a run to Jewel to get some food to grill and whatnot. Some of the folks coming over were inpatients at RIC with me! Tony, Kip, maybe Jayme… I’m psyched to see them! I hope you all have a great Sunday!
Chip
Saturday, 13 July 2013
Stronger
"You don’t know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." - Bob Marley
Yesterday at RIC I had my monthly assessment. It’s hard to believe I’ve been in my apartment and an outpatient for a full month! She retested all my muscles (different from the ASIA test) and gave me scores like 4-, 3+, etc. The best you can do is a 5, which means normal, basically. I had lots of 3+’s and 4-’s in my right leg and 2-’s in my left leg. All that really matters is that all but two of my muscles got stronger over the past month in BOTH legs. So that’s really good news. I just pray it continues. Thank you all for your prayers. I believe in them and I believe they are helping me. Truly. I’ll post a video in a sec.
After the assessment, Tiffany got me up on the treadmill again (shocker). We focused on form and which hand to put pressure on, when to shift weight, etc. It’s like golf in trying to focus on 10 things at the same time. Surprising considering I’m just trying to walk right but there ya go.
The new goal is to try out crutches in 2-3 weeks. Crutches are more maneuverable than a walker and also helps practice a more natural gait. She expects me to progress enough in the next few weeks to be ready for that. I hope.
No hands! We practiced standing, flexing each quad (come on left leg…), and stepping. I was exhausted when it was time to do some stretching. That’s good. I don’t like finishing without being exhausted. Feels like you left something on the table when you do that.
The other kind of cool news is that Sara and Jason from 7 might use my videos and story as an example to inpatients. The idea and hope would be that it would encourage them to put in that extra effort in order to progress. Really cool and I hope to help however possible in that way.
Separate friends Dan and Eli (as in, they didn’t know each other) both came from Cali yesterday so got to hang with them a bit. We all grilled out on the roof last night and enjoyed a little Makers. Good times. I have no idea why there weren’t more people on the roof. It was great weather and a great sunset.
Off to brunch for me, then more working out with the AFOs. I hope everyone has an amazing weekend.
Much love -
Chip
Thursday, 11 July 2013
Another day, another walk
Yesterday at RIC started in the pool with Kelly, who I hadn’t met before. She pushed me to use the walker and also do some side stepping, which combined works all the muscle groups in my legs. I’ll post a video of walking backwards in a sec.
In therapy/training (I prefer calling it training but am afraid I’ll confuse people) with Tiffany, I walked on the treadmill for a while then did some stretching and strengthening exercises. Good workout - I was pooped afterwards.
Last night my parents, Rebecca and I grilled out on the rooftop of my apartment building and then played some Rummikub. Good times.
While my mom and Rebecca were up in the apartment, my dad and I had a good talk about things. I had been feeling pretty down the last few days. While my parents and Rebecca were encouraged by how I had spent so much of the day using my walker instead of the wheelchair, all I saw was the prospect of a very difficult life. I don’t want every small task to be a workout, but that’s the way it is right now.
Anyway, my dad gave me a good inspirational talk. He told me how I could (and should) use this as an opportunity to be an advocate for others who are going through the same thing. While he was talking, a song was playing on my iPad and it couldn’t have been more prophetic. Only certain people like this type of music, but I like it and the message was perfect for the discussion. Flux Pavilion’s “I Can’t Stop”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q9rewnLFYw
Well it’s a rollercoaster of emotion with me but I’m once again motivated. I want to make a difference in this world. As I’ve said before, hopefully what happened to me will allow me to have MORE of an impact on the world, not less. The only way that makes sense is if I use what’s happened to me as a way of impact. I will. I just have to figure it out.
God bless and g’night!
Chip
Tuesday, 9 July 2013
New Steps
"Life has meaning only in the struggle.
Triumph or defeat is in the hands of the gods.
So let us celebrate the struggle.” - Swahili warrior song
I’m not a Swahili warrior. And I also am not polytheistic. But this is a good quote, at least for me.
The last couple days have been big for me in my training. And also sad in my home. I made strides with training but we had to make a tough decision with Goldie, the foster dog we had for about 10 days.
Yesterday, therapy went well and as planned, Vari came down from orthotics and saw me walk for a couple seconds before taking my KAFOs to chop them down. So I no longer have KAFOs, but AFOs. Some spinal cord injuries never get to this point so I’m ecstatic! The AFOs are vastly easier to put on - I just cross my leg and put them on the same way I put on shoes. It’s great. Walking with them is actually a fair amount harder since a) my knees bend, lessening stability and requiring more actual muscle work and b) I can’t just rest on them when I stand. These are good things, because it will force me to work harder and use more muscles all around.
Another sweet benefit of the AFOs is sitting down. Instead of my legs staying straight, they bend at the knee and I can sit down much more normally, or rather, less awkwardly. That means I can pretty much wear them all day and walk when needed.
Today we had to take Goldie back to PAWS. The impending loss of our canine friend created sadness and a fair amount of tension between me and Rebecca. Neither of us wanted to part ways with her, but we decided we weren’t really ready for it and also that a dog like Goldie would be better-suited in a house with a yard. The result was that we were upset we didn’t have a house with a yard.
My parents went with us and my mom suggested that I try not using my wheelchair and try out my AFOs in full force. So I left my wheelchair at home, walked down the halls and out to the car, transferred to the car from the walker, etc. It was a first and very difficult but nice to not feel tethered to the chair on wheels.
After dropping off Goldie we went to grab a bite close to wear Rebecca needed to babysit for my good friends Ron and Iliana. Their kids are Miela and Henry - both are pretty awesome and really smart. Anyway I needed to go to the bathroom (aka cath) and after getting out of the car and into the restaurant - an effort in itself - found out that the bathroom was actually in the adjoining hotel. Oh yeah, and on the 2nd floor down a hall. So instead of sitting down to eat, I got my second workout of the day just going to the bathroom. At least it went well without the wheelchair.
I got back in time to order and for Rebecca to leave. Not long after leaving, though, she came back with Miela and Henry to say hi. Miela was rocking what looked like some crazy, glittery Converse, knee-high boots. Pretty awesome haha… Henry showed off his knowledge of human anatomy by pointing to ears, eyes, nose, hair, etc. He’s barely 2, so it was impressive. The restaurant I think felt bad about my bathroom journey so they gave us some warmed up chocolate chip cookies which made it all worth it. Henry seemed to think so, at least.
Here’s a pic of me getting back in the car to head home.
Good times. By the time I got home I was so tired I actually missed my wheelchair, something I thought would never happen.
My parents and I just watched the sunset on the roof here with a couple glasses of Makers Mark. As much as it may seem that I am enduring something extremely difficult, my life is still ridiculously blessed.
My great aunt Dot turned 87 today. Happy birthday, aunt Dot! She has been an extremely positive person for as long as I can remember. I don’t remember her ever doing anything but smiling and offering to cook me something delicious like fried catfish, hushpuppies, or something of the like. Apparently she has a group of friends she plays cards with and she’s the “young” one. At 87! So awesome.
G’night!
Chip
Sunday, 7 July 2013
July 6/7 - Weekend good times
My main problem this weekend was not having enough energy to do all that was available to me. Good problem to have!
Yesterday I walked around on my KAFOs while Rebecca’s brothers grilled on the rooftop here. Since I had two strong guys close by, I successfully attempted walking up and down a few ramps. That was a new one for me. And I also stepped down from a raised area. Really hard to do when you can’t bend your knees! I’m very much looking forward to tomorrow when I can get my KAFOs (knee-ankle-foot-orthotics) turned in to AFOs (nothing above the calf). That is huge for two major reasons (at minimum):
- I will be able to put them on in 1/10th of the time. Just like putting on shoes.
- I will be able to sit down easily with them. The KAFOs require my legs to stay straight when I sit down and are really hard to unlock.
The second one means I should be able to strap them on and use them at various times throughout the day without much trouble. Very happy about that.
After grilling out we jumped in the car and headed downtown to listen to the Chicago Symphony play in Grant Park. I love doing that and still can’t believe it’s free. We had the whole spread of cheese, wine, beer and also took full advantage of my handicap parking tag. I may have to get a car considering metered parking is free with that thing. Apparently for $200 I can get a device that lets me drive entirely with my hands. We’ll see.
Today after church Pastor Joe Riccardi and a couple elders anointed me and prayed over me with Rebecca, Stephen, Leah, Brandon, Emily, and Chris. It was really powerful and moved me way more than I anticipated. It was straight out of James 5:14-16:
14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.
Before they prayed over me I confessed that I struggled with pride - in many ways, but there are currently two main ways pride gets me. 1) When I make progress I want to believe it’s my own doing and not God’s, which isn’t true. 2) I am too prideful to accept help. Or when I do accept help, it really bothers me. I hate being a burden to others or negatively impacting others’ lives. So I need to humble myself and accept my current situation as one that needs help and assistance at times.
Overall the anointing was one of the most powerful things I’ve experienced since being injured. I’ll be honest and say that while Rebecca and I were out walking the dog tonight I tried just standing up out of my wheelchair to see if my faith was strong enough to heal me. My right leg surprisingly kicked out easily, but when I tried to stand… not so much luck there! Healing comes in many ways. I wonder how God will heal me.
After that we went to the Cubs game, where I was very surprised to see how great the handicapped seating was. We had a great view of left-center field and my friends all had folding chairs. Erik joined the crew for that and we ran into some other friends at the ballpark. Really fun and as a bonus the Cubs actually won!
My mom came in tonight. She’ll be here for a few days. Therapy is in the morning and considering she hasn’t seen anything but this blog for about a month, it’ll be interesting to see her reaction to my progress. Also, thanks to the generosity of people that probably read this, we have several restaurant gift cards to use! Thanks! I’m not that big of a fan of McDonald’s but that’s alright! Kidding - they are to nice places.
I think we are taking Goldie back to PAWS tomorrow. Kind of depressing.
I love you all.
G’night
Chip
Friday, 5 July 2013
July 4/5 - KAFOs/AFOs
Helen Keller: “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”
Yesterday was a good day. The 4th of July, after all! After researching and not finding anything about fireworks on Montrose Beach, very close to my apartment, Rebecca and I decided to head downtown and meet up with friends at an apartment in Streeterville, with an amazing view of the fireworks. They also had great Sangria, Caipirinhas, and BBQ. A true american hodgepodge of cultures and traditions. What we didn’t think about was the insane amount of people headed to Navy Pier for the fireworks. The bus took an hour to get there. Once there, throngs of people were told by police that the Navy Pier was at capacity and to find a place to watch the fireworks elsewhere. I didn’t even know that was possible! But it was a good night.
Earlier in the day, after a late brunch, I hit a new record with my KAFOs, walking about 1400 ft. Rebecca and Goldie walked around the roof while I worked out and made some new friends.
This morning, after not a ton of sleep (thank you for pooping your Cage again, Goldie), I got to therapy at 9am and jumped (read: slid) into the pool for a workout with Jeremy. He had me walk around mostly, but also some stretches for back and hips and some strength exercises.
After drying off and changing, I met with Tiffany for some treadmill training. I mentioned how I had gone 1400 or so ft with my KAFOs. She asked if I took breaks or had supervision. No, unless you count standing as a break and Rebecca and a dog 200 ft. away as supervision. Then, a first - she told me that she was watching the way I was walking and didn’t want to change anything. I disagreed - I’d like to change a number of things, such as getting rid of the treadmill, AFOs, and having far more strength in my legs!
I noticed she was recording me with her iPhone (without permission.. cough, cough… just kidding Tiffany!). She said she wanted to compare my form with a normal gait (i.e. fully-functional person walking). After 25 minutes there we did some single-leg half squats in the parallel bars and then some stretching and strengthening. Rebecca surprised me and showed up for the last 20-30 minutes to watch and join me for lunch.
Later on, I got a voicemail from Tiffany. She had shown the video to someone in orthotics. They had decided that I was ready to turn my KAFOs into AFOs! I can’t tell you how much easier that’ll make training at home! That means I lose the thigh pieces and knee joint, and all the clunky junk and metal that goes with it. It means I can throw on the gear much faster (and less painfully) to do my training at home. I’m pretty excited. I’m supposed to bring the KAFOs in on Monday and the orthotist will cut them down. I figured I’d get the right leg cut down but I guess they are doing both since the tone in my left leg is so consistent. All good news!
I hope everyone had a good 4th! Have a great weekend. We will most likely be hitting up a Rib fest, neighborhood tasting, Cubs game, church, and maybe some cool places to eat/drink with family and friends.
G’night!
Chip
Wednesday, 3 July 2013
July 2 and 3 - business, dog, and yep, more walking
Yesterday I had a board meeting for my company that took quite a bit of preparation and last way too long - over 3 hours. My dad snuck this shot on his way back from the bathroom:
That’s in the party room of my apartment building. Pretty decent and the chair was the right height and cushioned enough for me to transfer to it.
I can’t say enough about how working and feeling productive improves my mood and sense of value. I’m sure this is typical for most people and especially guys. If I feel like I am accomplishing something and making an income to support myself in the process, my mood is good. Especially now that I’m injured, feeling a sense of self-worth is as important as it is for high schoolers.
The meeting went well. Most of the guys came up to my place for a beer afterwards. My dad, Rich and Erik put some lumber underneath my bed to raise it a few inches, making it easier for me to transfer from. Thanks, guys! I didn’t get a KAFO training in yesterday with all the work before and during the meeting, so I stood up with the walker for a while and walked around a bit. It feels so good to just do some work with my legs.
Today was hugely different. I still worked all morning, but then instead of a meeting in the afternoon, I had a training session with Tiffany at RIC. We went straight to the treadmill, which seems to be the favorite activity now when I go. For some reason it was easy today and I went for 40 minutes and 0.41 miles, which is a new PR. It felt great. Tiffany helped me improve my form a bit and also had me try this thing where I’d only use one hand while stepping. At first it seemed impossible but then it started working, however sloppily. I could take 5 steps alternately which hand I was using, but never more than 1 at a time. Definitely will have to improve on that. Similar to what Mark Stephan says, if I can do it for 5 steps, why not 1000?
My old roommate, Tony, from RIC when I was an inpatient just had his baby, too. Totally awesome-looking kid. It will probably have 9 foot long arms to block volleyball shots like Tony did.
Update on Goldie: the dog will NOT poop or pee outside! Totally ridiculous. I don’t want to give her back to PAWS but she has got to learn how to go to the bathroom outside. Ridiculous. Beautiful dog, though. She ran around at a dog park with another dog just a little bit ago. That was really fun.
I can smell the stuffed bell peppers that Rebecca is cooking… time for me to go.
Dear Lord, thank You for this day. Thank You for giving me so many ways to feel fulfilled in life. Thank You for all my great friends and family. Dear Lord, please be with Tony and his new baby and family. Let everyone have a fantastic 4th of July and remember tomorrow how great our nation is and how much better it could be if we all shared the same appreciation for it. Let everyone realize that everything we have is because of You. Nothing we have and nothing we can do is from our own organic abilities. We need You, Lord. Please be with us. In Jesus’ name, amen.
G’night and have a good 4th!
Chip
[wpvideo OcI7LMsR]
More walking… here I’m trying to lift the opposite foot that I’m stepping with. This is putting all the weight on my right foot and left hand, for instance. I do it a few times in this clip. The best I could do was 5 steps in a row before it fell apart and I needed both hands again. Still… progress…
Monday, 1 July 2013
July 1 - Tres Meses
I was injured about 3 months ago on Easter Sunday. When milestones pass by like this it reminds me of how they say, “You’ll have 60% of your total recovery by month 6,” or, “You will pretty much be recovered at 1 year/18 months/2 years/never,” depending on which expert you are asking. I suppose I’m ahead of the curve as far as SCI recoveries go, but it still feels rough.
This morning I had another good training session with Jeremy. I was on the treadmill for half an hour with just the AFOs again. At the end I pushed and increased speed until I got to 1 mph for the last 2 minutes. That sounds like a snails pace but it was blazing for me.
After training my dad and I went to the ground-breaking for the new RIC hospital, which we found out will be called The Ability Institute of RIC. It was a really fancy presentation/show, with music, plenty of speakers including Rahm Emmanuel (Chicago’s mayor), a couple state senators and also some wounded vets. Really cool to hear the stories. It looks like the new center will be way, way ahead of the curve in technology. Totally state of the art. I figure I’ll still be an outpatient when it opens in 3 years to take advantage of it. I wonder where I’ll be by then… Sadly I didn’t get any decent pics.
Anyway I have a ton of work to do tonight. And I’m also beat. Not sure I’ll get to the work until morning at this point.
Buenas Noches (no idea why I’m using spanish today),
Chip
Sunday, 30 June 2013
June 30 - Gay Pride
I’m not gay. But they sure did throw a heck of a parade today. The parade started only a block from my apartment building. It was certainly different watching the parade this year from a wheelchair. Rebecca kept her eye out for spots that had better visibility and then ran off for a bit, texting me that she’d found a place to cross the street. I found it, just before the start of the parade, where the floats passed by, anyway, so we stayed right there for a bit where it was far less crowded.
Rebecca’s pink mustache and colorful dress (out of view).
Too strange.
After seeing one of my managers, Lance, and his partner representing Papa John’s in the parade - on a swim team’s float, don’t ask - we stopped at Bar on Buena for a bloody mary and some food before heading back to the apartment. It was time to let the dog out. Yeah, we picked up a foster dog from PAWS named Goldie. She’s a mix between a lab and a golden retriever. Unfortunately she prefers going to the bathroom in the apartment vs. outside. She’s super friendly, though, and only barks if you leave her alone. We only have her for a little over a week. It’s definitely a learning experience, especially for Rebecca who has never had a dog in her life. She’s doing great, though. Rebecca, not the dog. The dog needs to learn to go to the bathroom outside. Here’s a few pics of Goldie the Unhousebroken:
The girls. Notice my sweet free recliner to the side there.
Me and the dog.
The three of us on the roof (and my dad’s shadow) where it was quite windy. Clearly I was training. At one interesting point the leash got wrapped around my whole deal just before getting onto the elevator. Nothing really happened. Sorry for the anticlimax.
My dad biked up from downtown and experienced the overwhelming throngs of people for the first time. I’m pretty sure it made him nervous, so he didn’t stay long. He hung out long enough to take some pics and walk with me as I trained on my KAFOs on the rooftop.
That’s really about it. Tomorrow will be interesting as I have 3 training sessions followed by the groundbreaking of the new RIC building. I hope they don’t mind that I’ll be in workout clothes.
The mental aspect of everything that’s happened to me and how it will change my life feels like an ever-increasing weight on me. I’m not so worried about myself as I am the change it will have on those close to me. It takes much longer to do anything - I’ve mentioned that before. That’s fine for me, but I don’t like how it delays other people, as well. I’m for positive impact, not negative. I realize there IS positive impact happening, but the same is true for the negative. It’s very frustrating.
Dear Lord, please heal me. I do not like to be a negative impact in any regard on anyone. Please be with Jayme as he is feeling kind of down right now. But then again, I am, too. Give us SCIs strength and fortitude that we need to get through this. Please be with those others close to us in pain. In Jesus’ name, amen.
G’night,
Chip
Friday, 28 June 2013
[wpvideo cNcWjoWw]
I went for about 32 or minutes today for a total of 0.35 miles. I’m bending my legs more than ever, which is good for regaining normal motion. The shaking you see is my spams, which largely are what are holding me up. I have 100% of my weight on my legs here. Well, in between steps. During steps I use my arms.
tumblr_mp4le98vj21sn4944
Me walking around in the pool. Things are 10x easier in the pool, so it’s a good way to see what might come to be with work and God’s help (i.e. my body’s progress). I did about 5 laps like this.
(Source: tumblr_mp4le98vj21sn4944
Me walking around in the pool. Things are 10x easier in the pool, so it’s a good way to see what might come to be with work and God’s help (i.e. my body’s progress). I did about 5 laps like this.
)June 28 - Hawks parade, training
I need to come up with a new countdown. Also I have quite a few pics and videos today. My dad was a bit trigger happy.
Today has been really great so far, and I’m going out to a Cirque show and dinner tonight with Rebecca so it will hopefully just continue.
9-9:30am - Pool therapy with Jeremy. Walking in the pool seems to be easier without the brace. I’ll post a video. Not to mention it just felt good to be in the pool without that stupid brace! I wasn’t quite as buoyant without that foam layer on me but who cares?!
Here Jeremy is trying to get me to push against his resistance. Good quad workout.
Here he’s just stretching my quads and hips. Tons of new things I can do now that that stinkin’ brace isn’t holding me back! Also you can see my surgical scar here. Not bad, really. Nothing too exciting about it.
After pool, I jumped out and my dad and I headed down to see the Blackhawks victory parade.
It was alright but obviously I couldn’t see much in the throngs of people. I did manage to see the Stanley Cup hoisted into the air, Toews, and some other players I wasn’t as familiar with.
After we decided to head back (for more therapy), I surprisingly ran into my buddy Dan.
Small world!
We had a good lunch on the river at Houlihan’s and then headed back to RIC.
Jeremy got me to lie on my stomach and do some more new stretches. It felt awesome. Then we got on the treadmill for the first time in a while, and for the first time with AFOs. It went really well. I went faster than ever before at a blazing 0.7 and 0.8 mph, and more importantly, it was 100% of my weight on my feet (and hands). The harness was just there for safety, whereas before it held anywhere from 20-50% of my weight.
I’ll post a video that shows a better view. My knees bend more now, mainly because of the AFOs and how they form and hold my feet.
That’s about it! Time to get ready for my date with Rebecca.
Thank You, Lord, for such a great day. Don’t ever let me take anything for granted. Let me find appreciation in the little wins of each day and not dwell on the negatives. Give me wisdom and strength so I can serve Your will best! Thank You for this life, Lord. Please be with all those that need You in their lives - in other words, everyone. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Happy Friday and go Hawks!
Chip
Wednesday, 26 June 2013
June 26 - BRACE OFF!
Well… kind of. I still have to wear the brace as my back and torso regain strength.
9:15am - Arrive at hospital for x-rays. When they said, “Okay stand here and take off your brace,” for the x-rays, that didn’t go so well. After a bit of confusion, another doctor came in and held a rolling stool as I transferred over to it. It seemed to work okay.
10:15am - Met with Dr. Muro, who showed us the x-rays and gave me the okay to wean off the brace!
I’m supposed to be “weaning” by wearing the brace 75% of the time this week, 50% of the time next week, etc. I think I’ve worn it about 2 hours today, for therapy. We’ll see how sore I am tomorrow but so far I think it’s good. He said it was a very rough plan, anyway, designed for people that atrophied their muscles. I’ve been working so hard that I’m not sure I lost that much muscle. It’s mainly the range of motion that is really unfamiliar to me, which definitely means the muscles will be doing things they haven’t done in 3 months. We shall see, but so far I’m loving this! My recliner feels 1000x better, as does riding in the car, as does tons of stuff. Using the wheelchair feels worse, sadly. I’m not quite as confident flying down the street with that protective layer gone.
Dr. Muro also answered a lot of lingering questions about the surgery, why certain things were done and others not done, long-term effects, etc. It was good to air it all out and not have any of those “what if” questions out there, anymore.
At RIC I ran into the lunch lady. Well, she handles meals, but I think of her as the lunch lady. She updated me and let me know that most of my friends from the 7th floor were all gone. All new people up there, now! I guess my visits will be to say hi to the therapists. Hopefully they’ll let me be a peer mentor and come in and tell people that it’s only gonna get better.
I also ran into Mark Stephan in the cafeteria. We were both doing work before our respective therapy sessions. By the way, it turns out we both prefer to call them training sessions. Mark is on the board at RIC which I met as a patient a month or so ago. He is a competitive athlete and has done 2 Ironmans, something like 16 marathons, etc. He was biking in a group when his front wheel came off, causing him to crash forward, breaking 2 vertebrae in his neck. He had little or no motion below his neck and zero feeling. While he still has zero feeling below his neck, he can now walk around and even biked cross-country to raise money for the RIC.
http://www.stephanchallenge.com/
Pretty nuts if you ask me! I said, “Couldn’t you have just biked the midwest or something?” Really impressive. Anyway he talked with me for a long while and gave me tons of advice. He repeatedly told me that at 3 months, my body has just begun to heal. When he left RIC after 6 months of therapy, he couldn’t do anything and still needed to be fed and have someone brush his teeth. His injury was 6 years ago and he is still recovering. I’m not thrilled at the idea that recovery will take that long, but the reality is that I will always be recovering, which is both encouraging and scary. He also mentioned that stretching, walking, and neuroplasticity were the key components. And jumping into any research possible on the 13th floor there. I need to research neuroplasticity - no idea what that is.
Therapy went well. Jeremy had me walking around in the AFOs again, focusing on flexing my thighs and bending the knees. Then he had me take my brace off and get into a stretching position I haven’t felt in months…
Okay fine it’s really just a focusing technique to get my hair - which is now somewhat unwieldy - to be uniform and behaved. Jeremy has clearly mastered this. I have much to learn.
Dear Lord, thank You for allowing my bones to recover as planned and without complications. Thank You for the continued healing. Please continue to heal me. Dear Lord, thank You for Scott on 10. His family will leave soon to go home - please be with them and heal Scott. Please be with Jeff, Jayme, Tony, Jimmy, Mark, Gary, the other Mark, and the others that are on 7 or are RIC “alums”. You understand the struggles we all go through. Thank You for always being there. Thank You for making Yourself known through the bible. Please help me to study it more so that I may be stronger and wiser and more loving to others. Thank You for this life You have given me. Help me to not waster it. In Jesus’ name, amen.
G’night,
Chip
Tuesday, 25 June 2013
Days til brace off (read: wear less and less): 2???
2 Corinthians 12:
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
A friend sent me that along with some other scripture (Exodus 4:10-17, paraphrased below) showing how, for instance, Moses was actually self-conscious about his poor speaking skills. And yet, God used him to be an incredible leader. In today’s terms, I think it went kind of like this:
Moses: God, are you serious? I stink at speaking! I’m always stuttering and I rarely get my point across. How the heck am I supposed to lead your people???
God: Dude, I am God! I made your mouth. If I want you to speak well, you will. So just chill. It’s gonna be fine.
Moses (still skeptical): Yeah, I don’t know… isn’t there someone else that can do it?
God (frustrated): Good grief, fine. Look, your friend Aaron speaks well, right? How about I’ll give you the words, you tell him what to say, and he can tell the people? Does that work???
If even Moses had trouble trusting in God, then maybe I’m not doing so bad. I have to figure out how to both “delight in my weakness” like it says in 2 Corinthians, and trust in God to do His will through my weakness. Frankly, I don’t feel that weak inside. I feel strong. I often have the urge to bust down a door or something when I’m walking with KAFOs. Probably because I know I can’t. I was standing for a while yesterday practicing my balance and I had a serious urge to chuck the walker through my bedroom window. I decided against that, though. Lately, my lack of walking skills just ticks me off more than anything else.
Yesterday I walked almost 1000 ft. in the KAFOs and stood for a while. Soon I’m going to try putting them on first thing in the morning and just not using my wheelchair all day. Of course, that means staying in the apartment all day, too…. maybe I’ll wait til it rains or something.
Today I am struggling somewhat after a late night celebrating the victory of the Blackhawks here in Chicago. They won the Stanley Cup! I really can’t believe it. They were down 2-1 with maybe 7 minutes left and then scored 2 goals in about 30 seconds. Crazy! If this is anything like when they won in 2010, the entire city will be unproductive for a week or two.
'Til next time -
Chip
Saturday, 22 June 2013
[wpvideo vms4BbUO]
This is an experiment Tiffany had me do where she kept my right KAFO from locking at the knee. It made it WAY harder to walk, since it was more of a natural motion and my knee kept bending. But then, I don’t want to walk like a zombie forever. Bending the knee builds tons of strength. Think about that last sentence…
June 22 - Dis - abled
Days til brace off: 4, potentially
dis·a·bled
/disˈābəld/
Adjective
- (of a person) Having a physical or mental condition that limits movements, senses, or activities.
- (of an activity, organization, or facility) Specifically designed for or relating to people with such a physical or mental condition.
Synonyms
invalid - crippled
That’s what comes up on Google for me. Literally means to take the ability away from. Another definition I found said “to weaken or destroy the capability of”. This is accurate. It is as simple as wanting to do something and then say, “I am not capable of doing that.” I’m frankly not used to saying that. I’m a much bigger fan of someone telling me I can’t do something and then doing it anyway. Hopefully that’s what’s happening now. Dr. Muro told Rebecca and my parents that I would have no motion below my waist for the rest of my life. He told me personally that I had less than a 5% chance of walking.
That’s me standing, putting the weight on my right leg and flexing my quad. I am repeatedly told that 18-24 months is around the time after injury that I will know roughly where my condition has left me for the rest of my life. It’s been less than 3 months and I can “kind of” stand. This may not seem like much, but it is. I need to continually remind myself of this. I tend to get depressed with all the things I can’t do. But, really, God has left me with all the important things to live my life. I should (and try to) be thankful to God for what faculties and abilities I still have.
My dad tried to be cute and took this pic of me in the middle of a great business meeting we had yesterday. I love times like this because I tend to forget that I’m in a wheelchair. I forget I’m wearing that stupid brace, too. It’s just all about getting stuff done the smartest and most efficient way possible, and having fun doing it. It’s the end of the meeting that sucks - when everybody else stands to get up and I wheel away from the table.
Therapy yesterday was good, again. Jeremy had me working hard in the pool and then Tiffany had me walking around and really focusing on flexing my quads and glutes instead of just swinging my legs around the way I usually do. It was good and I was exhausted by the end of it. I think I was there from 9-12.
I just finished walking about 1250 ft with my KAFOs. Sorry Ben, the record had to be broken. Another good workout.
I met with Bill Meier of Park today. He reminded me of Isaiah 41:
8 “But you, Israel, my servant,
Jacob, whom I have chosen,
you descendants of Abraham my friend,
9 I took you from the ends of the earth,
from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
10 So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.11 “All who rage against you
will surely be ashamed and disgraced;
those who oppose you
will be as nothing and perish.
12 Though you search for your enemies,
you will not find them.
Those who wage war against you
will be as nothing at all.
13 For I am the Lord your God
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
I also had an incredibly thoughtful surprise come from the Batsons back home at St. John UMC in Kentucky. They had this brick made, and had it put next to the other bricks at the church my parents already had:
It’s the last one that’s new if you can’t tell. Thanks, Batsons!
Now it’s time to shower up and go watch the Blackhawks game. Based on the last 4 games, it will be a great game!
God bless and GO HAWKS!
Chip
Wednesday, 19 June 2013
June 19 - Go Hawks!
Days til brace off - 7, please
Yesterday I ended up doing a standing workout - I stood with a walker but without braces for 10 minutes straight. It’s weird to say my workout was standing but there ya go. Then as an experiment, I threw on my KAFOs and walked (with walker) to the kitchen and “helped” Rebecca cook some dinner. By “helped”, I mean I cut a few pieces of bread. Then I plopped down in my recliner and took off the KAFOs. When it was time for bed, I was in a p-o’ed mood about not being able to do the stuff I used to do so I made it to bed with my walker - no braces. It felt good realizing that during dinner all that, my wheelchair remained by the bed.
I had outpatient therapy today with Jeremy for 1.5 hours. After I showed him how I can walk without braces (but using my spasms), he had me walk around with the walker. I thought last night was tough! I walked around for a lap, or 175 feet. Then we put an AFO on my left foot and I did it again, then a different one and again. Then added an AFO to my right foot and did it again. Total distance was 700 feet with no braces above the calves. Definitely a PR for me. All the AFO experimentation was to try and get my knees to bend and walk normally in order to activate more muscles. The more normal, the less my spasms kick in, and therefore the harder it is. I was getting to be toast so we switched it up and practiced standing and sitting. Really hard - especially sitting. All in all a good day! I’ll post a video in a sec.
Afterwards I headed home. My church small group met up at my place to do a quick bible study, watch the Hawks’ game, have a couple beers and eat some Papa John’s. It was nice to have people over and feel normal! Halfway through the game my small group left but Stephen, Leah and Rebecca were there and they stayed until the end. It was such a great game!! 6-5 in hockey… those are high scores. Let’s go, Chicago…
My brother Marc was really encouraged when he saw one of the videos my dad took of me at therapy today. He asked if I was happy with how things were going and I said, “I’m happy with where I am now, but I’ll never be satisfied, either.” Does that make sense? Probably not, but I think you know what I mean. I feel very lucky to have this life and to be where I am today. At the same time there are tons of things I still want to do, including a bunch of stuff that requires my legs to work better than they do right now!
Well it just passed midnight here. I’m bushed.
G’night,
Chip
Monday, 17 June 2013
Teep on teepin' on -
Days til brace off: 9, fingers crossed
The title is what my mom and aunt Cha (mom’s sister) keep saying to me. I forget the story… something about a minister when they were little that had a lisp and got all fired up in a sermon and said, “Teep on teepin’ on!” over and over again.
Definitely settling into the apartment and getting things in order. It feels a lot less hectic, now.
The Blackhawks lost tonight… pretty bad. Hopefully game 4 will be better. Rebecca and I got to try out a cool bar by our place called Bar on Buena. They had my favorite bourbon - Angel’s Envy - and a deal on build your own burger. Pretty sweet.
My spasms have been pretty annoying, lately. Two different kinds - either they are extremely stiff and impossible to move or they do the clonus thing and bounce up and down like crazy. Doing workouts at home help calm them down, I’ve noticed. I’ll post a video to show you what I mean.
Today was a good day. I’m back into work mode, which feels good. Got a lot done. I expect something similar tomorrow. It’s amazing how much being productive does to get you out of a funk. Just feeling like you’re accomplishing something, if that makes sense. I worked at home, made my lunch, did some paperwork for personal stuff… felt good.
Rebecca got home from babysitting and helped me train today. We got on my KAFOs and walked to the elevator, then off at the 4th floor to walk on the rooftop of Jewel for a while. It was pretty nice out and breezy… which is perfect for working out (for me, at least). I stood for a while, as well… maybe 5 or 10 minutes.
Good day…. Thank you for this good day, Lord. Thank you for all my friends and family. I’m lucky to have them in my life. Thank you for this amazing life I have, Lord. In Jesus’ name, amen.
G’night,
Chip
Sunday, 16 June 2013
Walking is hard
Days til brace off - hopefully 10 days
Everyone went in different directions this weekend. My dad went home to Kentucky. He tried very hard to bring me with him, as did my mom, but I decided it would be better to gain some independence, confidence, and comfort at my apartment. Happy Father’s Day, dad!
Rebecca went up to Wisconsin with Stephen and Leah to stay with an extremely athletic family. Basically the whole family does triathlons, including the kids. There was lots of running, biking, tubing, boating, playing of other sports, etc. I wanted to go but was afraid it would get me too down to be around all that activity without being able to participate.
So I chilled at the apartment. Ben was nice enough to come over yesterday and helped me train with the KAFOs while Sam went shopping at Target. She’s about to pop - 4 days now til due date.
Ben is a quiet motivator. He is in ridiculous shape and doesn’t yell in your face or anything. He just kind of says, “I think you can do more.” And that’s all it takes for me. So yesterday we went back and forth in the hall of my apartment building until I hit 1000 ft, beating my previous PR by 160 ft. Today he came and helped again and I made it 1200 ft. It was really hard, I have to admit. But glad to be hitting new highs. Once I got the KAFOs off I stood up a few times with the walker. It’s much harder than it sounds.
Ben and Sam were cool enough to take me to our friend Brandon’s graduation party down south, too. They had an actual home with bags in the backyard and all that. Pretty nice day, too. And it turned out Brandon’s mom read my blog with her women’s group every week. That was an unexpected surprise. And when I hear that kind of thing, it doesn’t go to my head or anything that much. It just makes me feel good that this stupid accident might have some sort of purpose. As I told Riccardi last week, if showing that I still believe in Christ/God through my suffering helps other people and progresses God’s plan, then maybe there really is a reason for all this.
Ben dropped off Sam at home who was yearning for PJs and a bed. We then went up on a whim to check out this recliner I saw on Craigslist. At that point the only two places for me in the apartment were either in my wheelchair or in bed. The chair was leather, a little worn, and priced at $45! Haha… so anyway Ben went in and tested it out. It was more worn than expected (some dog scratches or something) but it laid almost flat when reclined, which sounded pretty awesome to me. I told him I’d take it off his hands for free if he wanted, and he said sure. Ha! So now I have an old, beat-up leather recliner in my living room. Not too bad of a deal.
Louise joined up and we tried watching the Blackhawks game at my place (me sporting the “new” chair) only to find it was only on NBC Sports. SO STUPID! Come on, it’s the Stanley Cup Finals! Gimme a break. We had some thai, watched the end of Fast and Furious 5, and called it a night.
Today - well, I already mentioned the workout - Riccardi had PK and Christine come pick me up to go to church. They are cool folks and live close so it was a good connection. Good church service. Jason spoke, which was cool since he is the pastor at the Rogers Park campus, much closer to me. I’ll have to check it out. As usual, I teared up at most of the verses in the songs.
Today is also the year anniversary of when I proposed to Rebecca and she said yes. I’ll have to find some way to repay her for how helpful she’s been since my accident.
Help - I’m trying to think of ways that I can use what’s happened to me (other than this blog) to help others. I’m already planning on being a mentor to patients at RIC. Any other ideas? You can respond by clicking on “Thoughts…” at the top of the blog.
Have a great Father’s Day!
Chip
Friday, 14 June 2013
2.5 months - Outpatient and apartment -
Days til brace off: who the heck knows?
It’s been a few days since my last post. When I moved into the apartment, there was no internet. It was supposed to be set up on Wednesday, but SHOCKER, Comcast screwed it up. Anyway, it works now that I used my own modem instead of theirs. So let’s catch up on the last few days!
I don’t really know what to title the posts now that I’m out of RIC. I’ll come up with something. But it’s been 2.5 months since my accident. Crazy. Seems like a year ago. I barely remember being able to walk/run/bike/etc. The most frustrating part is that I was always running, biking, playing sports, helping people move, whatever… When I moved into the apartment it was rough. I could only carry a small box at a time while everyone else was buzzing quickly around me. It definitely humbles you when you can’t do simple tasks, or if you can do them, it takes you 10x as long.
The move went fairly well. We are still unpacking and whatnot, but I am liking the apartment. There are a few logistical challenges with the wheelchair but nothing huge. The views are really amazing, too. I can see Wrigley Field from my bedroom and the lake from the living room. There aren’t a lot of tall buildings around, so you look down on streets lined with trees. Pretty nice.
Other than that?… Wednesday I had my first outpatient therapy. Tiffany will be one of my main PTs. She tested my strength and then had me stand in the parallel bars without braces. My spasms allowed me to stay standing without using my hands (briefly). Then she let me take a few steps. That was pretty cool but also weird since it was really unnatural. My legs tend to stay straight thanks to the spasms. So I kind of look like a zombie walking - all rigid.
After that I met with Dr. Muro with the hopes of getting my brace off. No such luck. He simply said that 12 weeks was the goal and that since I was at week 10, it wasn’t time. And that was that. Boo. Oh and even better, at week 12, IF I can take it off, then I have 3 weeks of declining usage of the brace. I just can’t seem to get rid of that stupid thing. It stinks because I can’t play any of the wheelchair sports until it comes off. Softball, sled hockey, hand cycling, wheelchair basketball, wheelchair rugby…. tons of fun stuff to try out. And what’s interesting is that even if I recover to the point where I can walk, I’ll always be considered disabled and will therefore always qualify for tons of cool disabled sports. They are really cool, seriously. Those guys are intense and do crazy tricks in their wheelchairs. Crazy, huh?
Yesterday I went downtown for an appointment only to find out it was a mistake and that there was nothing to do. I went home and went to a coffee shop with Rebecca for a while to do some emails. My dad came over and helped me work out, which is the video I posted. Then I went out and watched Rebecca play softball. That was great, getting out. I joined the team at a bar for beers and food after the game. Then afterwards got a little turned around and took the long way to catch the bus home, bumping all over the place thanks to my clonus.
clo·nus (kl
n. pl. clo·nus·es
An abnormality in neuromuscular activity characterized by rapidly alternating muscular contraction and relaxation.
Basically my legs bounce like crazy preventing me from moving efficiently. It feels like I’m trapped in a massage chair that’s turned on too high. Not bad, really, but kind of annoying.
Today was a great day:
9:30-10am - Jeremy for PT in the pool. Jeremy will be my other main PT, along with Tiffany. He was good and we tried some new stuff. He seems cool enough. Ran cross country at Marquette so I’m guessing he knows what it means to work hard.
10:15-11:45am - PT with Tiffany. I was late since I had to change after the pool. We went to the treadmill and tried walking, except instead of flinging my legs to walk she had me pushing down into the heels to stand in between steps. Way harder and triggered my spasms a lot. We then did what were basically half squats. With the harness holding me up, I was able to push with my heels and stand without using my hands. That was pretty sweet-feeling. It was mostly my right leg but who cares? Both legs are slowly getting stronger. I just hope it continues.
We then went to try out my KAFOs. She wanted me to show her how I did with them to get her approval to use at home on my own (which I had already done- see the video). She approved. So in therapy I’ll be doing non-KAFO stuff. Standing, walking without KAFOs, etc. She already experimented today with having me first walk with my left leg in a KAFO and my right leg in just an AFO (no supports above the calf). It felt pretty good, actually. I wasn’t able to do it a couple weeks ago when I tried that. So that’s progress!
Next she took off the KAFO from my left leg and had me walk in the parallel bars again. My left foot was dragging so she gave it an AFO as well. It required more upper body but it felt great to walk with the AFOs. They made my knees bend so I didn’t do the zombie walk so much. Can’t wait to do it again.
I’ve decided my goal is to be able to walk with a cane by next April, one year after the accident. I’ll give it all my effort, but of course it’s up to God in the end in regards to my body’s recovery and neuroregeneration.
I met with Joe Riccardi from Park Community Church on Wednesday right after I was disappointed about not getting the brace off. What perfect timing! He shared some cool stuff about John Piper (popular preacher if you don’t know of him) regarding suffering in the Lord’s name. I realized that my poor attitude lately and feeling down are self-centered and self-absorbed ways of thinking. You don’t usually think of being self-absorbed as having to do with throwing yourself a pity party, but that’s what it is. So I started to pull out of it at that point. Here is part of Psam 34, which he read to me there:
The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.19 The righteous person may have many troubles,
but the Lord delivers him from them all;
20 he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
Clearly the broken bone part hits home to me, but it’s a really cool passage. It’s powerful to think that if we are following the Lord’s path instead of our own, he will protect us and deliver us from our troubles. I have been extremely selfish in the past. I still am often selfish. But I will try as hard as possible to follow His path, not just so that I can be protected and saved from troubles, but to glorify Him.
The other thing that Joe really struck a chord with is the belief that if we will live for eternity in heaven, that our time on earth is just a fleeting moment by comparison. This is along the lines of John Piper’s message on suffering. Thinking that way makes all of our troubles seem so stupid. No internet for a couple days? Get over it, Chip! It takes a while to get dressed in the morning? So what??? Look how beautiful it is outside! Gotta use a wheelchair to get around? I can still do tons of things and have led an awesome life up until this point. I have no complaints. In fact, the funny part is that right around the time I was injured, I kept thinking about how lucky I was and that if anything happend to me, it would be okay because I had already done so much in my life.
G’night -
Chip
Tuesday, 11 June 2013
[wpvideo AfGsOfNC]
This is the 3rd or so time in a row I tried standing without braces. Sara showed my dad how to spot me. So here I’ve got almost 100% body weight on my legs. As I said in the post, my left leg is mostly staying rigid thanks to a spasm that happens when my legs are straight. My right leg is working pretty hard. Both are shaking. Standing!
Monday, 10 June 2013
Day 63 - LAST FULL DAY AT RIC!!!
Days til brace off - 2???
Days til move - 0.4
I type “fd” every time I spasm. I’m tempted to leave them in there for a blog just to show how many times I spasm. So annoying.
Long day…
8am - Try to head downtown with dad only to find out the cab service I reserved is nowhere to be seen.
8:05am - Dad panics and enlists several staff to help us locate a car.
8:25am - After no success by the RIC staff, our cab finally arrives.
8:30-9:30am - Cook County court. Jake and Erik were cool enough to be there. I kind of felt bad since I knew it would probably be uneventful.
The prosecutor came over and said hi as she had already been communicating with us. Once we approved the plan of action, she went to talk with the defendant. I wasn’t sure how it would feel to see the man that did this to me. He came back in from talking with the prosecutor, our eyes met, and I immediately knew he was in anguish about this ordeal.
The policeman that arrived at the accident site was there, as well. He apparently has been concerned about my recovery and told me he couldn’t explain what it is like to be with me close up like that. He was really happy to see me kick a leg.
My dad, the policeman, and I walked up when the driver’s docket was read and as planned, he pleaded guilty to one traffic violation while the other two were excused. After it was settled, he turned to me and grabbed my hand. I didn’t think he spoke english since he had an interpreter, so I just kind of nodded an “okay”.
We left the courtroom and in the hallway talked about how it went. The driver then came out and came straight up to me and said in his best english, “I’m sorry. I pray for you every day. I have trouble sleeping at night.” Etc., etc. I told him I had nothing against him and that it’s okay - people make mistakes. I told him I was a terrible driver for years and am lucky I didn’t hurt anyone. I told him I hoped he got better sleep. It was really a big moment for both of us, I think. I hope he feels better. It seemed like he was relieved by my reaction, at least. It was honestly a very powerful moment. I only wish I had said the actual words, “I forgive you.” Because I do.
I talked a little more with the policeman and we got this photo, since Jake insisted:
As Jake pointed out, my dad looks like it’s his first day of school. Regardless, my impression of the Chicago PD is hugely improved, which I made clear.
9:30am - We jumped in a cab and headed back to RIC for PT with Sara. I got my new loaner wheelchair which I’ll have until my custom chair comes in a couple months.
I tested some wheelies with the ever-cautious Sara. This loaner is a vast improvement over the tank I had before. And it’s more compact so hopefully will work better in the apartment. I’m happy!
After that we attempted standing without my braces. I used the parallel bars at first and then a walker. I think I got up with about 50% arm strength and 50% my right leg. But once I was up I could stay standing. My left leg was 90% spasm and who knows how much in my right leg, but I was standing. I lifted my arms and all was well. So that felt great. Sara had me do that for a while - just stand there - which turned out to be the hardest workout I’ve had in a while. I’m already sore in my lower back. But it was so great to stand! Did I say that already? The best part is that I can do it so easily at home using only the walker. She showed my dad how to stand guard. I’m sure Rebecca can easily do it, too. Good stuff!
Then I just had enough time to do half a lap walking around in the braces. It seemed way easier than just standing on my own. I told Sara I’m sure I’d see her soon and that this was not farewell.
We had my last group session and everyone was in a good mood. Jake even hopped into the wheelchair I’ve used the last 2 months and joined in.
Another intense game of balloon volleyball there. I’m gonna try and recreate this as an indoor party game, I’ve decided. Also as you can see Sara suggested I leave on the KAFOs for a couple hours and get used to wearing them.
We had a good lunch and then afternoon OT was pretty simple. I just practiced wheelies for a while, did a timed lap around the floor (0:55), and then finished off by playing some Wii. Nothing fancy, really. The fact that I have nothing urgent to do in OT is why I’m going to be an outpatient instead of day rehab. I won’t have OT as an outpatient because they’ve classified me as fairly independent.
We had what turned out to be a hilarious group psychology session, where the topics shifted from thermoregulation to leaving RIC and those stresses to eating yogurt to hot chocolate to I don’t even remember what else. Dr. Sweet said she had no control over us but I insisted that it was an extremely successful psych session since we were all happy and laughing (isn’t that the goal of psychology sessions???). A couple said some nice things since I am leaving tomorrow. So that was nice. Thanks, Jimmy and Dr. Sweet.
Rebecca and I went and saw Iliana and her kids Miela and Henry outside the Hancock tower. The weather today created this intense fog everywhere and they were playing with bubbles and running around. The whole effect was pretty cool. Really cute kids. I did a 360 wheelie for them which I guess they liked. Then they checked out the fountain while Rebecca and I got some awesome mexican hot chocolate (hint of spice… real good).
Jayme came by and said goodbye later, just after my roommate Tim’s friend gave me some awesome ribs. They were for time but after discovering that Tim couldn’t really eat them, he gave them to me. His hands aren’t working that great right now. Rebecca hung out a bit and that was my night.
Tony and I were catching up over text while I typed this… It turns out his right leg is improving while his left leg is slacking, just like mine. So I said we might be pimping it with some canes at some point. I told him if he can walk with just a cane, I’ll buy him a velvet suit from the Salvation Army. Naturally, he said I’d have to do the same. Deal! Compared to what we’ve gone through, the thought of walking with a cane and clad in a velvet suit sounds pretty sweet right now!
Okay I’ll shut up. Much love. Tomorrow is a new day.
G’night -
Chip
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