Stronger

"You don’t know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." - Bob Marley

Yesterday at RIC I had my monthly assessment.  It’s hard to believe I’ve been in my apartment and an outpatient for a full month!  She retested all my muscles (different from the ASIA test) and gave me scores like 4-, 3+, etc. The best you can do is a 5, which means normal, basically.  I had lots of 3+’s and 4-’s in my right leg and 2-’s in my left leg.  All that really matters is that all but two of my muscles got stronger over the past month in BOTH legs.  So that’s really good news.  I just pray it continues.  Thank you all for your prayers.  I believe in them and I believe they are helping me.  Truly.  I’ll post a video in a sec.

After the assessment, Tiffany got me up on the treadmill again (shocker).  We focused on form and which hand to put pressure on, when to shift weight, etc.  It’s like golf in trying to focus on 10 things at the same time.  Surprising considering I’m just trying to walk right but there ya go.  

The new goal is to try out crutches in 2-3 weeks.  Crutches are more maneuverable than a walker and also helps practice a more natural gait.  She expects me to progress enough in the next few weeks to be ready for that.  I hope.  

No hands!  We practiced standing, flexing each quad (come on left leg…), and stepping.  I was exhausted when it was time to do some stretching.  That’s good.  I don’t like finishing without being exhausted.  Feels like you left something on the table when you do that.  

The other kind of cool news is that Sara and Jason from 7 might use my videos and story as an example to inpatients.  The idea and hope would be that it would encourage them to put in that extra effort in order to progress.  Really cool and I hope to help however possible in that way.  

Separate friends Dan and Eli (as in, they didn’t know each other) both came from Cali yesterday so got to hang with them a bit.  We all grilled out on the roof last night and enjoyed a little Makers.  Good times.  I have no idea why there weren’t more people on the roof.  It was great weather and a great sunset.  

Off to brunch for me, then more working out with the AFOs.  I hope everyone has an amazing weekend.

Much love - 

Chip

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Walking with the walker in the pool - going backwards here.  

Another day, another walk

Yesterday at RIC started in the pool with Kelly, who I hadn’t met before.  She pushed me to use the walker and also do some side stepping, which combined works all the muscle groups in my legs.  I’ll post a video of walking backwards in a sec.  

In therapy/training (I prefer calling it training but am afraid I’ll confuse people) with Tiffany, I walked on the treadmill for a while then did some stretching and strengthening exercises.  Good workout - I was pooped afterwards.  

Last night my parents, Rebecca and I grilled out on the rooftop of my apartment building and then played some Rummikub.  Good times.  

While my mom and Rebecca were up in the apartment, my dad and I had a good talk about things.  I had been feeling pretty down the last few days.  While my parents and Rebecca were encouraged by how I had spent so much of the day using my walker instead of the wheelchair, all I saw was the prospect of a very difficult life.  I don’t want every small task to be a workout, but that’s the way it is right now.  

Anyway, my dad gave me a good inspirational talk.  He told me how I could (and should) use this as an opportunity to be an advocate for others who are going through the same thing.  While he was talking, a song was playing on my iPad and it couldn’t have been more prophetic.  Only certain people like this type of music, but I like it and the message was perfect for the discussion.  Flux Pavilion’s “I Can’t Stop”:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Q9rewnLFYw

Well it’s a rollercoaster of emotion with me but I’m once again motivated.  I want to make a difference in this world.  As I’ve said before, hopefully what happened to me will allow me to have MORE of an impact on the world, not less.  The only way that makes sense is if I use what’s happened to me as a way of impact.  I will.  I just have to figure it out.

God bless and g’night!

Chip 

New Steps

"Life has meaning only in the struggle.
Triumph or defeat is in the hands of the gods.
So let us celebrate the struggle.” - Swahili warrior song

I’m not a Swahili warrior.  And I also am not polytheistic.  But this is a good quote, at least for me. 

The last couple days have been big for me in my training.  And also sad in my home.  I made strides with training but we had to make a tough decision with Goldie, the foster dog we had for about 10 days.

Yesterday, therapy went well and as planned, Vari came down from orthotics and saw me walk for a couple seconds before taking my KAFOs to chop them down.  So I no longer have KAFOs, but AFOs.  Some spinal cord injuries never get to this point so I’m ecstatic!  The AFOs are vastly easier to put on - I just cross my leg and put them on the same way I put on shoes.  It’s great.  Walking with them is actually a fair amount harder since a) my knees bend, lessening stability and requiring more actual muscle work and b) I can’t just rest on them when I stand.  These are good things, because it will force me to work harder and use more muscles all around.  

Another sweet benefit of the AFOs is sitting down.  Instead of my legs staying straight, they bend at the knee and I can sit down much more normally, or rather, less awkwardly.  That means I can pretty much wear them all day and walk when needed. 

Today we had to take Goldie back to PAWS.  The impending loss of our canine friend created sadness and a fair amount of tension between me and Rebecca.  Neither of us wanted to part ways with her, but we decided we weren’t really ready for it and also that a dog like Goldie would be better-suited in a house with a yard.  The result was that we were upset we didn’t have a house with a yard.

My parents went with us and my mom suggested that I try not using my wheelchair and try out my AFOs in full force.  So I left my wheelchair at home, walked down the halls and out to the car, transferred to the car from the walker, etc.  It was a first and very difficult but nice to not feel tethered to the chair on wheels.  

After dropping off Goldie we went to grab a bite close to wear Rebecca needed to babysit for my good friends Ron and Iliana.  Their kids are Miela and Henry - both are pretty awesome and really smart.  Anyway I needed to go to the bathroom (aka cath) and after getting out of the car and into the restaurant - an effort in itself - found out that the bathroom was actually in the adjoining hotel.  Oh yeah, and on the 2nd floor down a hall.  So instead of sitting down to eat, I got my second workout of the day just going to the bathroom.  At least it went well without the wheelchair.  

I got back in time to order and for Rebecca to leave.  Not long after leaving, though, she came back with Miela and Henry to say hi.  Miela was rocking what looked like some crazy, glittery Converse, knee-high boots.  Pretty awesome haha… Henry showed off his knowledge of human anatomy by pointing to ears, eyes, nose, hair, etc.  He’s barely 2, so it was impressive.  The restaurant I think felt bad about my bathroom journey so they gave us some warmed up chocolate chip cookies which made it all worth it.  Henry seemed to think so, at least. 

Here’s a pic of me getting back in the car to head home. 

Good times.  By the time I got home I was so tired I actually missed my wheelchair, something I thought would never happen.

My parents and I just watched the sunset on the roof here with a couple glasses of Makers Mark.  As much as it may seem that I am enduring something extremely difficult, my life is still ridiculously blessed.  

My great aunt Dot turned 87 today.  Happy birthday, aunt Dot!  She has been an extremely positive person for as long as I can remember.  I don’t remember her ever doing anything but smiling and offering to cook me something delicious like fried catfish, hushpuppies, or something of the like.  Apparently she has a group of friends she plays cards with and she’s the “young” one.  At 87!  So awesome.  

G’night!

Chip

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First time attempting a step.  This one is 4”.  A typical stair step is 8”.  Good times.

July 6/7 - Weekend good times

My main problem this weekend was not having enough energy to do all that was available to me.  Good problem to have!  

Yesterday I walked around on my KAFOs while Rebecca’s brothers grilled on the rooftop here.  Since I had two strong guys close by, I successfully attempted walking up and down a few ramps.  That was a new one for me.  And I also stepped down from a raised area.  Really hard to do when you can’t bend your knees!  I’m very much looking forward to tomorrow when I can get my KAFOs (knee-ankle-foot-orthotics) turned in to AFOs (nothing above the calf).  That is huge for two major reasons (at minimum):

• I will be able to put them on in 1/10th of the time.  Just like putting on shoes.


• I will be able to sit down easily with them.  The KAFOs require my legs to stay straight when I sit down and are really hard to unlock.  

The second one means I should be able to strap them on and use them at various times throughout the day without much trouble.  Very happy about that.  

After grilling out we jumped in the car and headed downtown to listen to the Chicago Symphony play in Grant Park.  I love doing that and still can’t believe it’s free.  We had the whole spread of cheese, wine, beer and also took full advantage of my handicap parking tag.  I may have to get a car considering metered parking is free with that thing.  Apparently for $200 I can get a device that lets me drive entirely with my hands.  We’ll see. 

Today after church Pastor Joe Riccardi and a couple elders anointed me and prayed over me with Rebecca, Stephen, Leah, Brandon, Emily, and Chris.  It was really powerful and moved me way more than I anticipated.  It was straight out of James 5:14-16:

14 Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Before they prayed over me I confessed that I struggled with pride - in many ways, but there are currently two main ways pride gets me.  1) When I make progress I want to believe it’s my own doing and not God’s, which isn’t true.  2) I am too prideful to accept help.  Or when I do accept help, it really bothers me.  I hate being a burden to others or negatively impacting others’ lives.  So I need to humble myself and accept my current situation as one that needs help and assistance at times.  

Overall the anointing was one of the most powerful things I’ve experienced since being injured.  I’ll be honest and say that while Rebecca and I were out walking the dog tonight I tried just standing up out of my wheelchair to see if my faith was strong enough to heal me.  My right leg surprisingly kicked out easily, but when I tried to stand… not so much luck there!  Healing comes in many ways.  I wonder how God will heal me.  

After that we went to the Cubs game, where I was very surprised to see how great the handicapped seating was.  We had a great view of left-center field and my friends all had folding chairs.  Erik joined the crew for that and we ran into some other friends at the ballpark.  Really fun and as a bonus the Cubs actually won!

My mom came in tonight.  She’ll be here for a few days.  Therapy is in the morning and considering she hasn’t seen anything but this blog for about a month, it’ll be interesting to see her reaction to my progress.  Also, thanks to the generosity of people that probably read this, we have several restaurant gift cards to use!  Thanks!  I’m not that big of a fan of McDonald’s but that’s alright!  Kidding - they are to nice places. 

I think we are taking Goldie back to PAWS tomorrow.  Kind of depressing.

I love you all.

G’night

Chip

July 4/5 - KAFOs/AFOs

Helen Keller: “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.  Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” 

Yesterday was a good day.  The 4th of July, after all!  After researching and not finding anything about fireworks on Montrose Beach, very close to my apartment, Rebecca and I decided to head downtown and meet up with friends at an apartment in Streeterville, with an amazing view of the fireworks.  They also had great Sangria, Caipirinhas, and BBQ.  A true american hodgepodge of cultures and traditions.  What we didn’t think about was the insane amount of people headed to Navy Pier for the fireworks.  The bus took an hour to get there.  Once there, throngs of people were told by police that the Navy Pier was at capacity and to find a place to watch the fireworks elsewhere.  I didn’t even know that was possible!  But it was a good night.  

Earlier in the day, after a late brunch, I hit a new record with my KAFOs, walking about 1400 ft.  Rebecca and Goldie walked around the roof while I worked out and made some new friends.  

This morning, after not a ton of sleep (thank you for pooping your Cage again, Goldie), I got to therapy at 9am and jumped (read: slid) into the pool for a workout with Jeremy.  He had me walk around mostly, but also some stretches for back and hips and some strength exercises.  

After drying off and changing, I met with Tiffany for some treadmill training.  I mentioned how I had gone 1400 or so ft with my KAFOs.  She asked if I took breaks or had supervision.  No, unless you count standing as a break and Rebecca and a dog 200 ft. away as supervision.  Then, a first - she told me that she was watching the way I was walking and didn’t want to change anything.  I disagreed - I’d like to change a number of things, such as getting rid of the treadmill, AFOs, and having far more strength in my legs!  

I noticed she was recording me with her iPhone (without permission.. cough, cough… just kidding Tiffany!).  She said she wanted to compare my form with a normal gait (i.e. fully-functional person walking).  After 25 minutes there we did some single-leg half squats in the parallel bars and then some stretching and strengthening.  Rebecca surprised me and showed up for the last 20-30 minutes to watch and join me for lunch.  

Later on, I got a voicemail from Tiffany.  She had shown the video to someone in orthotics.  They had decided that I was ready to turn my KAFOs into AFOs!  I can’t tell you how much easier that’ll make training at home!  That means I lose the thigh pieces and knee joint, and all the clunky junk and metal that goes with it.  It means I can throw on the gear much faster (and less painfully) to do my training at home.  I’m pretty excited.  I’m supposed to bring the KAFOs in on Monday and the orthotist will cut them down.  I figured I’d get the right leg cut down but I guess they are doing both since the tone in my left leg is so consistent.  All good news!

I hope everyone had a good 4th!  Have a great weekend.  We will most likely be hitting up a Rib fest, neighborhood tasting, Cubs game, church, and maybe some cool places to eat/drink with family and friends.

G’night!

Chip

July 2 and 3 - business, dog, and yep, more walking

Yesterday I had a board meeting for my company that took quite a bit of preparation and last way too long - over 3 hours.  My dad snuck this shot on his way back from the bathroom:

That’s in the party room of my apartment building.  Pretty decent and the chair was the right height and cushioned enough for me to transfer to it.  

I can’t say enough about how working and feeling productive improves my mood and sense of value.  I’m sure this is typical for most people and especially guys.  If I feel like I am accomplishing something and making an income to support myself in the process, my mood is good.  Especially now that I’m injured, feeling a sense of self-worth is as important as it is for high schoolers.  

The meeting went well.  Most of the guys came up to my place for a beer afterwards.  My dad, Rich and Erik put some lumber underneath my bed to raise it a few inches, making it easier for me to transfer from.  Thanks, guys!  I didn’t get a KAFO training in yesterday with all the work before and during the meeting, so I stood up with the walker for a while and walked around a bit.  It feels so good to just do some work with my legs.  

Today was hugely different.  I still worked all morning, but then instead of a meeting in the afternoon, I had a training session with Tiffany at RIC.  We went straight to the treadmill, which seems to be the favorite activity now when I go.  For some reason it was easy today and I went for 40 minutes and 0.41 miles, which is a new PR.  It felt great.  Tiffany helped me improve my form a bit and also had me try this thing where I’d only use one hand while stepping.  At first it seemed impossible but then it started working, however sloppily.  I could take 5 steps alternately which hand I was using, but never more than 1 at a time.  Definitely will have to improve on that.  Similar to what Mark Stephan says, if I can do it for 5 steps, why not 1000? 

My old roommate, Tony, from RIC when I was an inpatient just had his baby, too.  Totally awesome-looking kid.  It will probably have 9 foot long arms to block volleyball shots like Tony did.  

Update on Goldie: the dog will NOT poop or pee outside!  Totally ridiculous.  I don’t want to give her back to PAWS but she has got to learn how to go to the bathroom outside.  Ridiculous.  Beautiful dog, though.  She ran around at a dog park with another dog just a little bit ago.  That was really fun.

I can smell the stuffed bell peppers that Rebecca is cooking… time for me to go. 

Dear Lord, thank You for this day.  Thank You for giving me so many ways to feel fulfilled in life.  Thank You for all my great friends and family.  Dear Lord, please be with Tony and his new baby and family.  Let everyone have a fantastic 4th of July and remember tomorrow how great our nation is and how much better it could be if we all shared the same appreciation for it.  Let everyone realize that everything we have is because of You.  Nothing we have and nothing we can do is from our own organic abilities.  We need You, Lord. Please be with us.  In Jesus’ name, amen.  

G’night and have a good 4th!

Chip

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More walking… here I’m trying to lift the opposite foot that I’m stepping with.  This is putting all the weight on my right foot and left hand, for instance.  I do it a few times in this clip.  The best I could do was 5 steps in a row before it fell apart and I needed both hands again.  Still… progress…

July 1 - Tres Meses

I was injured about 3 months ago on Easter Sunday.  When milestones pass by like this it reminds me of how they say, “You’ll have 60% of your total recovery by month 6,” or, “You will pretty much be recovered at 1 year/18 months/2 years/never,” depending on which expert you are asking.  I suppose I’m ahead of the curve as far as SCI recoveries go, but it still feels rough.  

This morning I had another good training session with Jeremy.  I was on the treadmill for half an hour with just the AFOs again.  At the end I pushed and increased speed until I got to 1 mph for the last 2 minutes.  That sounds like a snails pace but it was blazing for me.  

After training my dad and I went to the ground-breaking for the new RIC hospital, which we found out will be called The Ability Institute of RIC.  It was a really fancy presentation/show, with music, plenty of speakers including Rahm Emmanuel (Chicago’s mayor), a couple state senators and also some wounded vets.  Really cool to hear the stories.  It looks like the new center will be way, way ahead of the curve in technology.  Totally state of the art.  I figure I’ll still be an outpatient when it opens in 3 years to take advantage of it.  I wonder where I’ll be by then…  Sadly I didn’t get any decent pics.

Anyway I have a ton of work to do tonight.  And I’m also beat.  Not sure I’ll get to the work until morning at this point.  

Buenas Noches (no idea why I’m using spanish today),

Chip

June 30 - Gay Pride

I’m not gay.  But they sure did throw a heck of a parade today.  The parade started only a block from my apartment building.  It was certainly different watching the parade this year from a wheelchair.  Rebecca kept her eye out for spots that had better visibility and then ran off for a bit, texting me that she’d found a place to cross the street.  I found it, just before the start of the parade, where the floats passed by, anyway, so we stayed right there for a bit where it was far less crowded.  

Rebecca’s pink mustache and colorful dress (out of view).  

Too strange.

After seeing one of my managers, Lance, and his partner representing Papa John’s in the parade - on a swim team’s float, don’t ask - we stopped at Bar on Buena for a bloody mary and some food before heading back to the apartment.  It was time to let the dog out.  Yeah, we picked up a foster dog from PAWS named Goldie.  She’s a mix between a lab and a golden retriever.  Unfortunately she prefers going to the bathroom in the apartment vs. outside.  She’s super friendly, though, and only barks if you leave her alone.  We only have her for a little over a week.  It’s definitely a learning experience, especially for Rebecca who has never had a dog in her life.  She’s doing great, though.  Rebecca, not the dog.  The dog needs to learn to go to the bathroom outside.  Here’s a few pics of Goldie the Unhousebroken:

The girls.  Notice my sweet free recliner to the side there.

Me and the dog.

The three of us on the roof (and my dad’s shadow) where it was quite windy.  Clearly I was training.  At one interesting point the leash got wrapped around my whole deal just before getting onto the elevator.  Nothing really happened.  Sorry for the anticlimax.

My dad biked up from downtown and experienced the overwhelming throngs of people for the first time.  I’m pretty sure it made him nervous, so he didn’t stay long.  He hung out long enough to take some pics and walk with me as I trained on my KAFOs on the rooftop.  

That’s really about it.  Tomorrow will be interesting as I have 3 training sessions followed by the groundbreaking of the new RIC building.  I hope they don’t mind that I’ll be in workout clothes.  

The mental aspect of everything that’s happened to me and how it will change my life feels like an ever-increasing weight on me.  I’m not so worried about myself as I am the change it will have on those close to me.  It takes much longer to do anything - I’ve mentioned that before.  That’s fine for me, but I don’t like how it delays other people, as well.  I’m for positive impact, not negative.  I realize there IS positive impact happening, but the same is true for the negative.  It’s very frustrating.  

Dear Lord, please heal me.  I do not like to be a negative impact in any regard on anyone.  Please be with Jayme as he is feeling kind of down right now.  But then again, I am, too.  Give us SCIs strength and fortitude that we need to get through this.  Please be with those others close to us in pain.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

G’night,

Chip

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I went for about 32 or minutes today for a total of 0.35 miles.  I’m bending my legs more than ever, which is good for regaining normal motion.  The shaking you see is my spams, which largely are what are holding me up.  I have 100% of my weight on my legs here.  Well, in between steps.  During steps I use my arms.

tumblr_mp4le98vj21sn4944

Me walking around in the pool.  Things are 10x easier in the pool, so it’s a good way to see what might come to be with work and God’s help (i.e. my body’s progress).  I did about 5 laps like this.

(Source: tumblr_mp4le98vj21sn4944

Me walking around in the pool.  Things are 10x easier in the pool, so it’s a good way to see what might come to be with work and God’s help (i.e. my body’s progress).  I did about 5 laps like this.

)

June 28 - Hawks parade, training

I need to come up with a new countdown.  Also I have quite a few pics and videos today.  My dad was a bit trigger happy.  

Today has been really great so far, and I’m going out to a Cirque show and dinner tonight with Rebecca so it will hopefully just continue.

9-9:30am - Pool therapy with Jeremy.  Walking in the pool seems to be easier without the brace.  I’ll post a video.  Not to mention it just felt good to be in the pool without that stupid brace!  I wasn’t quite as buoyant without that foam layer on me but who cares?!  

Here Jeremy is trying to get me to push against his resistance.  Good quad workout.

Here he’s just stretching my quads and hips.  Tons of new things I can do now that that stinkin’ brace isn’t holding me back!  Also you can see my surgical scar here.  Not bad, really.  Nothing too exciting about it.

After pool, I jumped out and my dad and I headed down to see the Blackhawks victory parade.  

It was alright but obviously I couldn’t see much in the throngs of people.  I did manage to see the Stanley Cup hoisted into the air, Toews, and some other players I wasn’t as familiar with.

After we decided to head back (for more therapy), I surprisingly ran into my buddy Dan.  

Small world!

We had a good lunch on the river at Houlihan’s and then headed back to RIC. 

Jeremy got me to lie on my stomach and do some more new stretches.  It felt awesome.  Then we got on the treadmill for the first time in a while, and for the first time with AFOs.  It went really well.  I went faster than ever before at a blazing 0.7 and 0.8 mph, and more importantly, it was 100% of my weight on my feet (and hands).  The harness was just there for safety, whereas before it held anywhere from 20-50% of my weight.  

I’ll post a video that shows a better view.  My knees bend more now, mainly because of the AFOs and how they form and hold my feet.  

That’s about it!  Time to get ready for my date with Rebecca.

Thank You, Lord, for such a great day.  Don’t ever let me take anything for granted.  Let me find appreciation in the little wins of each day and not dwell on the negatives.  Give me wisdom and strength so I can serve Your will best!  Thank You for this life, Lord.  Please be with all those that need You in their lives - in other words, everyone.  In Jesus’ name, amen.  

Happy Friday and go Hawks!

Chip

June 26 - BRACE OFF!

Well… kind of.  I still have to wear the brace as my back and torso regain strength.

9:15am - Arrive at hospital for x-rays.  When they said, “Okay stand here and take off your brace,” for the x-rays, that didn’t go so well.  After a bit of confusion, another doctor came in and held a rolling stool as I transferred over to it.  It seemed to work okay.

10:15am - Met with Dr. Muro, who showed us the x-rays and gave me the okay to wean off the brace!  

I’m supposed to be “weaning” by wearing the brace 75% of the time this week, 50% of the time next week, etc.  I think I’ve worn it about 2 hours today, for therapy.  We’ll see how sore I am tomorrow but so far I think it’s good.  He said it was a very rough plan, anyway, designed for people that atrophied their muscles.  I’ve been working so hard that I’m not sure I lost that much muscle.  It’s mainly the range of motion that is really unfamiliar to me, which definitely means the muscles will be doing things they haven’t done in 3 months.  We shall see, but so far I’m loving this!  My recliner feels 1000x better, as does riding in the car, as does tons of stuff. Using the wheelchair feels worse, sadly.  I’m not quite as confident flying down the street with that protective layer gone. 

Dr. Muro also answered a lot of lingering questions about the surgery, why certain things were done and others not done, long-term effects, etc.  It was good to air it all out and not have any of those “what if” questions out there, anymore.  

At RIC I ran into the lunch lady.  Well, she handles meals, but I think of her as the lunch lady.  She updated me and let me know that most of my friends from the 7th floor were all gone.  All new people up there, now!  I guess my visits will be to say hi to the therapists.  Hopefully they’ll let me be a peer mentor and come in and tell people that it’s only gonna get better.

I also ran into Mark Stephan in the cafeteria.  We were both doing work before our respective therapy sessions.  By the way, it turns out we both prefer to call them training sessions.  Mark is on the board at RIC which I met as a patient a month or so ago.  He is a competitive athlete and has done 2 Ironmans, something like 16 marathons, etc.  He was biking in a group when his front wheel came off, causing him to crash forward, breaking 2 vertebrae in his neck.  He had little or no motion below his neck and zero feeling.  While he still has zero feeling below his neck, he can now walk around and even biked cross-country to raise money for the RIC.  

http://www.stephanchallenge.com/

Pretty nuts if you ask me!  I said, “Couldn’t you have just biked the midwest or something?”  Really impressive.  Anyway he talked with me for a long while and gave me tons of advice.  He repeatedly told me that at 3 months, my body has just begun to heal.  When he left RIC after 6 months of therapy, he couldn’t do anything and still needed to be fed and have someone brush his teeth.  His injury was 6 years ago and he is still recovering.  I’m not thrilled at the idea that recovery will take that long, but the reality is that I will always be recovering, which is both encouraging and scary.  He also mentioned that stretching, walking, and neuroplasticity were the key components.  And jumping into any research possible on the 13th floor there.  I need to research neuroplasticity - no idea what that is.  

Therapy went well.  Jeremy had me walking around in the AFOs again, focusing on flexing my thighs and bending the knees.  Then he had me take my brace off and get into a stretching position I haven’t felt in months…

Okay fine it’s really just a focusing technique to get my hair - which is now somewhat unwieldy - to be uniform and behaved.  Jeremy has clearly mastered this.  I have much to learn.  

Dear Lord, thank You for allowing my bones to recover as planned and without complications.  Thank You for the continued healing.  Please continue to heal me.  Dear Lord, thank You for Scott on 10.  His family will leave soon to go home - please be with them and heal Scott.  Please be with Jeff, Jayme, Tony, Jimmy, Mark, Gary, the other Mark, and the others that are on 7 or are RIC “alums”.  You understand the struggles we all go through.  Thank You for always being there.  Thank You for making Yourself known through the bible.  Please help me to study it more so that I may be stronger and wiser and more loving to others.  Thank You for this life You have given me.  Help me to not waster it.  In Jesus’ name, amen.  

G’night,

Chip

Days til brace off (read: wear less and less): 2???

2 Corinthians 12: 

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

A friend sent me that along with some other scripture (Exodus 4:10-17, paraphrased below) showing how, for instance, Moses was actually self-conscious about his poor speaking skills.  And yet, God used him to be an incredible leader.  In today’s terms, I think it went kind of like this:

Moses: God, are you serious?  I stink at speaking!  I’m always stuttering and I rarely get my point across.  How the heck am I supposed to lead your people???

God: Dude, I am God!  I made your mouth.  If I want you to speak well, you will.  So just chill.  It’s gonna be fine.

Moses (still skeptical): Yeah, I don’t know… isn’t there someone else that can do it?

God (frustrated): Good grief, fine.  Look, your friend Aaron speaks well, right?  How about I’ll give you the words, you tell him what to say, and he can tell the people?  Does that work???  

If even Moses had trouble trusting in God, then maybe I’m not doing so bad.  I have to figure out how to both “delight in my weakness” like it says in 2 Corinthians, and trust in God to do His will through my weakness.  Frankly, I don’t feel that weak inside.  I feel strong.  I often have the urge to bust down a door or something when I’m walking with KAFOs.  Probably because I know I can’t.  I was standing for a while yesterday practicing my balance and I had a serious urge to chuck the walker through my bedroom window.  I decided against that, though.  Lately, my lack of walking skills just ticks me off more than anything else.    

Yesterday I walked almost 1000 ft. in the KAFOs and stood for a while.  Soon I’m going to try putting them on first thing in the morning and just not using my wheelchair all day.  Of course, that means staying in the apartment all day, too…. maybe I’ll wait til it rains or something.

Today I am struggling somewhat after a late night celebrating the victory of the Blackhawks here in Chicago.  They won the Stanley Cup!  I really can’t believe it.  They were down 2-1 with maybe 7 minutes left and then scored 2 goals in about 30 seconds.  Crazy!  If this is anything like when they won in 2010, the entire city will be unproductive for a week or two.

'Til next time - 

Chip

 

[wpvideo vms4BbUO]

This is an experiment Tiffany had me do where she kept my right KAFO from locking at the knee.  It made it WAY harder to walk, since it was more of a natural motion and my knee kept bending.  But then, I don’t want to walk like a zombie forever.  Bending the knee builds tons of strength.  Think about that last sentence…

June 22 - Dis - abled

Days til brace off: 4, potentially

dis·a·bled  

/disˈābəld/

Adjective

1. (of a person) Having a physical or mental condition that limits movements, senses, or activities.


2. (of an activity, organization, or facility) Specifically designed for or relating to people with such a physical or mental condition.

Synonyms

invalid - crippled

That’s what comes up on Google for me.  Literally means to take the ability away from.  Another definition I found said “to weaken or destroy the capability of”.  This is accurate.  It is as simple as wanting to do something and then say, “I am not capable of doing that.”  I’m frankly not used to saying that.  I’m a much bigger fan of someone telling me I can’t do something and then doing it anyway.  Hopefully that’s what’s happening now.  Dr. Muro told Rebecca and my parents that I would have no motion below my waist for the rest of my life.  He told me personally that I had less than a 5% chance of walking.  

That’s me standing, putting the weight on my right leg and flexing my quad.  I am repeatedly told that 18-24 months is around the time after injury that I will know roughly where my condition has left me for the rest of my life.  It’s been less than 3 months and I can “kind of” stand.  This may not seem like much, but it is.  I need to continually remind myself of this.  I tend to get depressed with all the things I can’t do.  But, really, God has left me with all the important things to live my life.  I should (and try to) be thankful to God for what faculties and abilities I still have.  

My dad tried to be cute and took this pic of me in the middle of a great business meeting we had yesterday.  I love times like this because I tend to forget that I’m in a wheelchair.  I forget I’m wearing that stupid brace, too.  It’s just all about getting stuff done the smartest and most efficient way possible, and having fun doing it.  It’s the end of the meeting that sucks - when everybody else stands to get up and I wheel away from the table.  

Therapy yesterday was good, again.  Jeremy had me working hard in the pool and then Tiffany had me walking around and really focusing on flexing my quads and glutes instead of just swinging my legs around the way I usually do.  It was good and I was exhausted by the end of it.  I think I was there from 9-12.  

I just finished walking about 1250 ft with my KAFOs.  Sorry Ben, the record had to be broken.  Another good workout.  

I met with Bill Meier of Park today.  He reminded me of Isaiah 41: 

⁸ “But you, Israel, my servant,
    Jacob, whom I have chosen,
    you descendants of Abraham my friend,
⁹ I took you from the ends of the earth,
    from its farthest corners I called you.
I said, ‘You are my servant’;
    I have chosen you and have not rejected you.
¹⁰ So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

¹¹ “All who rage against you
    will surely be ashamed and disgraced;
those who oppose you
    will be as nothing and perish.
¹² Though you search for your enemies,
    you will not find them.
Those who wage war against you
    will be as nothing at all.
¹³ For I am the Lord your God
    who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
    I will help you.

I also had an incredibly thoughtful surprise come from the Batsons back home at St. John UMC in Kentucky.  They had this brick made, and had it put next to the other bricks at the church my parents already had:

It’s the last one that’s new if you can’t tell.  Thanks, Batsons!

Now it’s time to shower up and go watch the Blackhawks game.  Based on the last 4 games, it will be a great game! 

God bless and GO HAWKS!

Chip

[wpvideo xOe95vvA]

Walking without braces but using the walker.  In this one I have an AFO (ankle foot orthotic) on my left foot/ankle.  

June 19 - Go Hawks!

Days til brace off - 7, please

Yesterday I ended up doing a standing workout - I stood with a walker but without braces for 10 minutes straight.  It’s weird to say my workout was standing but there ya go.  Then as an experiment, I threw on my KAFOs and walked (with walker) to the kitchen and “helped” Rebecca cook some dinner.  By “helped”, I mean I cut a few pieces of bread.  Then I plopped down in my recliner and took off the KAFOs.  When it was time for bed, I was in a p-o’ed mood about not being able to do the stuff I used to do so I made it to bed with my walker - no braces.  It felt good realizing that during dinner all that, my wheelchair remained by the bed.  

I had outpatient therapy today with Jeremy for 1.5 hours.  After I showed him how I can walk without braces (but using my spasms), he had me walk around with the walker.  I thought last night was tough!  I walked around for a lap, or 175 feet.  Then we put an AFO on my left foot and I did it again, then a different one and again.  Then added an AFO to my right foot and did it again.  Total distance was 700 feet with no braces above the calves.  Definitely a PR for me.  All the AFO experimentation was to try and get my knees to bend and walk normally in order to activate more muscles. The more normal, the less my spasms kick in, and therefore the harder it is.  I was getting to be toast so we switched it up and practiced standing and sitting.  Really hard - especially sitting.  All in all a good day!  I’ll post a video in a sec.

Afterwards I headed home.  My church small group met up at my place to do a quick bible study, watch the Hawks’ game, have a couple beers and eat some Papa John’s.  It was nice to have people over and feel normal!  Halfway through the game my small group left but Stephen, Leah and Rebecca were there and they stayed until the end.  It was such a great game!! 6-5 in hockey… those are high scores.  Let’s go, Chicago…

My brother Marc was really encouraged when he saw one of the videos my dad took of me at therapy today.  He asked if I was happy with how things were going and I said, “I’m happy with where I am now, but I’ll never be satisfied, either.”  Does that make sense?  Probably not, but I think you know what I mean.  I feel very lucky to have this life and to be where I am today.  At the same time there are tons of things I still want to do, including a bunch of stuff that requires my legs to work better than they do right now!  

Well it just passed midnight here.  I’m bushed.

G’night,

Chip

[wpvideo OxUyPnZa]

This is from last week.  I had just finished walking the hall for the first time at my apartment in my KAFOs.  After I took them off my legs went nuts, as you can see.  If I flexed them they just stayed rigid.  If I relaxed they kind of ran in the air.

Teep on teepin' on -

Days til brace off: 9, fingers crossed

The title is what my mom and aunt Cha (mom’s sister) keep saying to me.  I forget the story… something about a minister when they were little that had a lisp and got all fired up in a sermon and said, “Teep on teepin’ on!” over and over again.  

Definitely settling into the apartment and getting things in order.  It feels a lot less hectic, now.  

The Blackhawks lost tonight… pretty bad.  Hopefully game 4 will be better. Rebecca and I got to try out a cool bar by our place called Bar on Buena. They had my favorite bourbon - Angel’s Envy - and a deal on build your own burger.  Pretty sweet.  

My spasms have been pretty annoying, lately.  Two different kinds - either they are extremely stiff and impossible to move or they do the clonus thing and bounce up and down like crazy.  Doing workouts at home help calm them down, I’ve noticed.  I’ll post a video to show you what I mean.  

Today was a good day.  I’m back into work mode, which feels good.  Got a lot done.  I expect something similar tomorrow.  It’s amazing how much being productive does to get you out of a funk.  Just feeling like you’re accomplishing something, if that makes sense.  I worked at home, made my lunch, did some paperwork for personal stuff… felt good.  

Rebecca got home from babysitting and helped me train today.  We got on my KAFOs and walked to the elevator, then off at the 4th floor to walk on the rooftop of Jewel for a while.  It was pretty nice out and breezy… which is perfect for working out (for me, at least).  I stood for a while, as well… maybe 5 or 10 minutes.  

Good day….  Thank you for this good day, Lord.  Thank you for all my friends and family.  I’m lucky to have them in my life.  Thank you for this amazing life I have, Lord.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

G’night,

Chip

Walking is hard

Days til brace off - hopefully 10 days

Everyone went in different directions this weekend.  My dad went home to Kentucky.  He tried very hard to bring me with him, as did my mom, but I decided it would be better to gain some independence, confidence, and comfort at my apartment.  Happy Father’s Day, dad!  

Rebecca went up to Wisconsin with Stephen and Leah to stay with an extremely athletic family.  Basically the whole family does triathlons, including the kids.  There was lots of running, biking, tubing, boating, playing of other sports, etc.  I wanted to go but was afraid it would get me too down to be around all that activity without being able to participate.  

So I chilled at the apartment.  Ben was nice enough to come over yesterday and helped me train with the KAFOs while Sam went shopping at Target.  She’s about to pop - 4 days now til due date.  

Ben is a quiet motivator.  He is in ridiculous shape and doesn’t yell in your face or anything.  He just kind of says, “I think you can do more.” And that’s all it takes for me.  So yesterday we went back and forth in the hall of my apartment building until I hit 1000 ft, beating my previous PR by 160 ft.  Today he came and helped again and I made it 1200 ft.  It was really hard, I have to admit.  But glad to be hitting new highs.  Once I got the KAFOs off I stood up a few times with the walker.  It’s much harder than it sounds.

Ben and Sam were cool enough to take me to our friend Brandon’s graduation party down south, too.  They had an actual home with bags in the backyard and all that.  Pretty nice day, too.  And it turned out Brandon’s mom read my blog with her women’s group every week.  That was an unexpected surprise.  And when I hear that kind of thing, it doesn’t go to my head or anything that much.  It just makes me feel good that this stupid accident might have some sort of purpose.  As I told Riccardi last week, if showing that I still believe in Christ/God through my suffering helps other people and progresses God’s plan, then maybe there really is a reason for all this.  

Ben dropped off Sam at home who was yearning for PJs and a bed.  We then went up on a whim to check out this recliner I saw on Craigslist.  At that point the only two places for me in the apartment were either in my wheelchair or in bed.  The chair was leather, a little worn, and priced at $45!  Haha… so anyway Ben went in and tested it out.  It was more worn than expected (some dog scratches or something) but it laid almost flat when reclined, which sounded pretty awesome to me.  I told him I’d take it off his hands for free if he wanted, and he said sure.  Ha!  So now I have an old, beat-up leather recliner in my living room.  Not too bad of a deal.

Louise joined up and we tried watching the Blackhawks game at my place (me sporting the “new” chair) only to find it was only on NBC Sports.  SO STUPID!  Come on, it’s the Stanley Cup Finals! Gimme a break.  We had some thai, watched the end of Fast and Furious 5, and called it a night.

Today - well, I already mentioned the workout - Riccardi had PK and Christine come pick me up to go to church.  They are cool folks and live close so it was a good connection.  Good church service.  Jason spoke, which was cool since he is the pastor at the Rogers Park campus, much closer to me.  I’ll have to check it out.  As usual, I teared up at most of the verses in the songs.  

Today is also the year anniversary of when I proposed to Rebecca and she said yes.  I’ll have to find some way to repay her for how helpful she’s been since my accident.  

Help - I’m trying to think of ways that I can use what’s happened to me (other than this blog) to help others.  I’m already planning on being a mentor to patients at RIC.  Any other ideas?  You can respond by clicking on “Thoughts…” at the top of the blog.

Have a great Father’s Day!
Chip

2.5 months - Outpatient and apartment -

Days til brace off: who the heck knows?

It’s been a few days since my last post.  When I moved into the apartment, there was no internet.  It was supposed to be set up on Wednesday, but SHOCKER, Comcast screwed it up.  Anyway, it works now that I used my own modem instead of theirs.  So let’s catch up on the last few days!

I don’t really know what to title the posts now that I’m out of RIC.  I’ll come up with something.  But it’s been 2.5 months since my accident.  Crazy.  Seems like a year ago.  I barely remember being able to walk/run/bike/etc.  The most frustrating part is that I was always running, biking, playing sports, helping people move, whatever… When I moved into the apartment it was rough.  I could only carry a small box at a time while everyone else was buzzing quickly around me.  It definitely humbles you when you can’t do simple tasks, or if you can do them, it takes you 10x as long. 

The move went fairly well.  We are still unpacking and whatnot, but I am liking the apartment.  There are a few logistical challenges with the wheelchair but nothing huge.  The views are really amazing, too.  I can see Wrigley Field from my bedroom and the lake from the living room.  There aren’t a lot of tall buildings around, so you look down on streets lined with trees.  Pretty nice.

Other than that?… Wednesday I had my first outpatient therapy.  Tiffany will be one of my main PTs.  She tested my strength and then had me stand in the parallel bars without braces.  My spasms allowed me to stay standing without using my hands (briefly).  Then she let me take a few steps.  That was pretty cool but also weird since it was really unnatural.  My legs tend to stay straight thanks to the spasms.  So I kind of look like a zombie walking - all rigid.  

After that I met with Dr. Muro with the hopes of getting my brace off.  No such luck.  He simply said that 12 weeks was the goal and that since I was at week 10, it wasn’t time.  And that was that.  Boo.  Oh and even better, at week 12, IF I can take it off, then I have 3 weeks of declining usage of the brace.  I just can’t seem to get rid of that stupid thing.  It stinks because I can’t play any of the wheelchair sports until it comes off.  Softball, sled hockey, hand cycling, wheelchair basketball, wheelchair rugby…. tons of fun stuff to try out.  And what’s interesting is that even if I recover to the point where I can walk, I’ll always be considered disabled and will therefore always qualify for tons of cool disabled sports.  They are really cool, seriously.  Those guys are intense and do crazy tricks in their wheelchairs.  Crazy, huh?

Yesterday I went downtown for an appointment only to find out it was a mistake and that there was nothing to do.  I went home and went to a coffee shop with Rebecca for a while to do some emails.  My dad came over and helped me work out, which is the video I posted.  Then I went out and watched Rebecca play softball.  That was great, getting out.  I joined the team at a bar for beers and food after the game.  Then afterwards got a little turned around and took the long way to catch the bus home, bumping all over the place thanks to my clonus.  

clo·nus  (klns)

n. pl. clo·nus·es

An abnormality in neuromuscular activity characterized by rapidly alternating muscular contraction and relaxation.

Basically my legs bounce like crazy preventing me from moving efficiently.  It feels like I’m trapped in a massage chair that’s turned on too high.  Not bad, really, but kind of annoying.  

Today was a great day:

9:30-10am - Jeremy for PT in the pool.  Jeremy will be my other main PT, along with Tiffany.  He was good and we tried some new stuff.  He seems cool enough.  Ran cross country at Marquette so I’m guessing he knows what it means to work hard.

10:15-11:45am - PT with Tiffany.  I was late since I had to change after the pool.  We went to the treadmill and tried walking, except instead of flinging my legs to walk she had me pushing down into the heels to stand in between steps.  Way harder and triggered my spasms a lot.  We then did what were basically half squats.  With the harness holding me up, I was able to push with my heels and stand without using my hands.  That was pretty sweet-feeling.  It was mostly my right leg but who cares?  Both legs are slowly getting stronger.  I just hope it continues. 

We then went to try out my KAFOs.  She wanted me to show her how I did with them to get her approval to use at home on my own (which I had already done- see the video).  She approved.  So in therapy I’ll be doing non-KAFO stuff.  Standing, walking without KAFOs, etc.  She already experimented today with having me first walk with my left leg in a KAFO and my right leg in just an AFO (no supports above the calf).  It felt pretty good, actually.  I wasn’t able to do it a couple weeks ago when I tried that.  So that’s progress!  

Next she took off the KAFO from my left leg and had me walk in the parallel bars again.  My left foot was dragging so she gave it an AFO as well.  It required more upper body but it felt great to walk with the AFOs.  They made my knees bend so I didn’t do the zombie walk so much.  Can’t wait to do it again.  

I’ve decided my goal is to be able to walk with a cane by next April, one year after the accident.  I’ll give it all my effort, but of course it’s up to God in the end in regards to my body’s recovery and neuroregeneration.  

I met with Joe Riccardi from Park Community Church on Wednesday right after I was disappointed about not getting the brace off.  What perfect timing!  He shared some cool stuff about John Piper (popular preacher if you don’t know of him) regarding suffering in the Lord’s name.  I realized that my poor attitude lately and feeling down are self-centered and self-absorbed ways of thinking.  You don’t usually think of being self-absorbed as having to do with throwing yourself a pity party, but that’s what it is.  So I started to pull out of it at that point.  Here is part of Psam 34, which he read to me there:

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
    he delivers them from all their troubles.
¹⁸ The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

¹⁹ The righteous person may have many troubles,
    but the Lord delivers him from them all;
²⁰ he protects all his bones,
    not one of them will be broken.

Clearly the broken bone part hits home to me, but it’s a really cool passage.  It’s powerful to think that if we are following the Lord’s path instead of our own, he will protect us and deliver us from our troubles.  I have been extremely selfish in the past.  I still am often selfish.  But I will try as hard as possible to follow His path, not just so that I can be protected and saved from troubles, but to glorify Him.  

The other thing that Joe really struck a chord with is the belief that if we will live for eternity in heaven, that our time on earth is just a fleeting moment by comparison.  This is along the lines of John Piper’s message on suffering.  Thinking that way makes all of our troubles seem so stupid.  No internet for a couple days?  Get over it, Chip!  It takes a while to get dressed in the morning?  So what???  Look how beautiful it is outside!  Gotta use a wheelchair to get around?  I can still do tons of things and have led an awesome life up until this point.  I have no complaints.  In fact, the funny part is that right around the time I was injured, I kept thinking about how lucky I was and that if anything happend to me, it would be okay because I had already done so much in my life.  

G’night - 

Chip

[wpvideo lTj5lWfg]

First attempt at working out with the KAFOs without a therapist present.  Well, unless you consider my dad a therapist.  

[wpvideo AfGsOfNC]

This is the 3rd or so time in a row I tried standing without braces.  Sara showed my dad how to spot me.  So here I’ve got almost 100% body weight on my legs.  As I said in the post, my left leg is mostly staying rigid thanks to a spasm that happens when my legs are straight.  My right leg is working pretty hard.  Both are shaking.  Standing!

Day 63 - LAST FULL DAY AT RIC!!!

Days til brace off - 2???

Days til move - 0.4

I type “fd” every time I spasm.  I’m tempted to leave them in there for a blog just to show how many times I spasm.  So annoying.

Long day…

8am - Try to head downtown with dad only to find out the cab service I reserved is nowhere to be seen.

8:05am - Dad panics and enlists several staff to help us locate a car.

8:25am - After no success by the RIC staff, our cab finally arrives.

8:30-9:30am - Cook County court.  Jake and Erik were cool enough to be there.  I kind of felt bad since I knew it would probably be uneventful.  

The prosecutor came over and said hi as she had already been communicating with us.  Once we approved the plan of action, she went to talk with the defendant.  I wasn’t sure how it would feel to see the man that did this to me.  He came back in from talking with the prosecutor, our eyes met, and I immediately knew he was in anguish about this ordeal.

The policeman that arrived at the accident site was there, as well.  He apparently has been concerned about my recovery and told me he couldn’t explain what it is like to be with me close up like that.  He was really happy to see me kick a leg.   

My dad, the policeman, and I walked up when the driver’s docket was read and as planned, he pleaded guilty to one traffic violation while the other two were excused.  After it was settled, he turned to me and grabbed my hand.  I didn’t think he spoke english since he had an interpreter, so I just kind of nodded an “okay”.  

We left the courtroom and in the hallway talked about how it went.  The driver then came out and came straight up to me and said in his best english, “I’m sorry.  I pray for you every day.  I have trouble sleeping at night.” Etc., etc.  I told him I had nothing against him and that it’s okay - people make mistakes.  I told him I was a terrible driver for years and am lucky I didn’t hurt anyone.  I told him I hoped he got better sleep.  It was really a big moment for both of us, I think.  I hope he feels better.  It seemed like he was relieved by my reaction, at least.  It was honestly a very powerful moment.  I only wish I had said the actual words, “I forgive you.” Because I do.  

I talked a little more with the policeman and we got this photo, since Jake insisted:

As Jake pointed out, my dad looks like it’s his first day of school.  Regardless, my impression of the Chicago PD is hugely improved, which I made clear.

9:30am - We jumped in a cab and headed back to RIC for PT with Sara.  I got my new loaner wheelchair which I’ll have until my custom chair comes in a couple months.  

I tested some wheelies with the ever-cautious Sara.  This loaner is a vast improvement over the tank I had before.  And it’s more compact so hopefully will work better in the apartment.  I’m happy!

After that we attempted standing without my braces.  I used the parallel bars at first and then a walker.  I think I got up with about 50% arm strength and 50% my right leg.  But once I was up I could stay standing.  My left leg was 90% spasm and who knows how much in my right leg, but I was standing.  I lifted my arms and all was well.  So that felt great.  Sara had me do that for a while - just stand there - which turned out to be the hardest workout I’ve had in a while.  I’m already sore in my lower back.  But it was so great to stand!  Did I say that already?  The best part is that I can do it so easily at home using only the walker.  She showed my dad how to stand guard.  I’m sure Rebecca can easily do it, too.  Good stuff!

Then I just had enough time to do half a lap walking around in the braces.  It seemed way easier than just standing on my own.  I told Sara I’m sure I’d see her soon and that this was not farewell.  

We had my last group session and everyone was in a good mood.  Jake even hopped into the wheelchair I’ve used the last 2 months and joined in. 

Another intense game of balloon volleyball there.  I’m gonna try and recreate this as an indoor party game, I’ve decided.  Also as you can see Sara suggested I leave on the KAFOs for a couple hours and get used to wearing them.  

We had a good lunch and then afternoon OT was pretty simple.  I just practiced wheelies for a while, did a timed lap around the floor (0:55), and then finished off by playing some Wii.  Nothing fancy, really.  The fact that I have nothing urgent to do in OT is why I’m going to be an outpatient instead of day rehab.  I won’t have OT as an outpatient because they’ve classified me as fairly independent.  

We had what turned out to be a hilarious group psychology session, where the topics shifted from thermoregulation to leaving RIC and those stresses to eating yogurt to hot chocolate to I don’t even remember what else.  Dr. Sweet said she had no control over us but I insisted that it was an extremely successful psych session since we were all happy and laughing (isn’t that the goal of psychology sessions???).  A couple said some nice things since I am leaving tomorrow.  So that was nice.  Thanks, Jimmy and Dr. Sweet.

Rebecca and I went and saw Iliana and her kids Miela and Henry outside the Hancock tower.  The weather today created this intense fog everywhere and they were playing with bubbles and running around.  The whole effect was pretty cool.  Really cute kids.  I did a 360 wheelie for them which I guess they liked.  Then they checked out the fountain while Rebecca and I got some awesome mexican hot chocolate (hint of spice… real good).

Jayme came by and said goodbye later, just after my roommate Tim’s friend gave me some awesome ribs.  They were for time but after discovering that Tim couldn’t really eat them, he gave them to me.  His hands aren’t working that great right now.  Rebecca hung out a bit and that was my night.  

Tony and I were catching up over text while I typed this…  It turns out his right leg is improving while his left leg is slacking, just like mine.  So I said we might be pimping it with some canes at some point.  I told him if he can walk with just a cane, I’ll buy him a velvet suit from the Salvation Army.  Naturally, he said I’d have to do the same.  Deal!  Compared to what we’ve gone through, the thought of walking with a cane and clad in a velvet suit sounds pretty sweet right now!

Okay I’ll shut up.  Much love.  Tomorrow is a new day.  

G’night - 

Chip

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Walking around in KAFOs made just for me.  At the end I mention osteoporosis.  If you don’t put enough regular pressure on your bones, they become brittle.  So I was saying that walking in KAFOs prevents that. 

Day 61 - Almost OUT!

Days til brace that keeps me from being super cool is off: 4?

Days til I move out of here-ah - 3

Big days ahead.  I’m set to move out of the RIC on Tuesday.  I start outpatient therapy the very next day and on the same day am scheduled to meet with Dr. Muro to find out if I get this stinkin’ brace off.  Lord knows I hope so.  It holds me back in 100 ways from sitting up in bed to reaching down and catching throws in softball (see: Leah/Rebecca).

Old school format:

9am - Last therapy with Jess.  Kind of bittersweet.  It was my choice, so I chose Wii and “balancing”.  I put that in quotations because it’s not hard at all, anymore.  She actually won a few times.  I’ll miss having therapy with Jessica.  She’s really great and super laid back.  She always put me in a good mood here which is invaluable. 

11:30am - Headed out to the new apartment where Leah and Rebecca were already at work getting things organized.  They’re both great.  I had Papa John’s delivered and we ate out on the roof super-deck.  I say super-deck because it is the entire roof of the grocery, Jewel.  I plan on doing KAFO self-therapy there.

Stephen showed up and the four of us went to a nearby softball field to practice.  I actually managed to catch a couple balls and hit a few (one-handed since I had no balance) and it was tons of fun.  Rebecca needs a left-handed glove, but she throws with her right hand pretty well, regardless.  Leah, Stephen, and Rebecca were all cranking them out of the park pretty well.

4pm-ish - Nap on MY bed.  Amazing.  I even was able to roll on my stomach which felt great.

8:30pm - Met friends at LP Stadium in Lincoln Park to watch the Blackhawks game.  There were more people there that I knew than expected which was awesome.  Everyone was psyched to see me out at that hour which felt pretty swell.  

Let’s not forget that the game went to double overtime and the Blackhawks WON!  Next up, Stanley Cup finals!  Dunt, dun-na-na, dun-na-na, dun-na-na-na-na-na-na, dun-na-na, dun-na-na….

Jake made me wear that SWEATER home since I was wearing it when they won.  The deal is I have to wear it every game of the Finals.  We shall see… I have another signed by the entire 2013 team.  Seems like that would be better luck…

Here’s another of me, Erik, and Nina that for some reason makes me look like I have a small head.

Thanks to Jake and Erik for waiting with me at the bus stop to make sure I got home safely.  

Here’s to all the great days we’ve already had and the better days to come.

G’night,

Chip

Day 60 - KAFOs and apartment move

10:10am - Not remotely ready for therapy, find out I didn’t remember the schedule correctly and I’m missing OT with Jessica.  Whoops!

11am - More practice with my KAFOs.  They felt a ton better after some adjustments they did.  Good workout.  

Noon - Business lunch

1pm - Talk with Dr. Sweet.  She wants me to continue talking with her as an outpatient, which I guess is not that normal.  I like talking with her so I took it as good news.

2pm - Shower and head down to a lecture Sara told me about on KAFOs.  She asked me to bring mine.  Once there I find out that everyone there is a therapist except for me and this other guy who was injured years ago.  He had his KAFOs on under his jeans and could walk sideways, up a ramp, etc., somewhat effortlessly.  Then, surprise, I was asked to walk in front of everyone as the inpatient example of KAFOs in use.  It went well and it was nice to answer questions of people in a clinical fashion because they all had positive reactions when they found out that my return is just from the past few weeks.  So that was encouraging.

4pm - Head to apartment, sign the lease, and start moving in.  Various friends started showing up from different directions, all with my stuff.  I didn’t realize how much I had been focusing on the accessibility of the place until today.  Everyone pointed out the amazing views and how we should definitely have parties.  So that’s cool!  Especially since it’s hard for me to get places now.  Definitely throwing parties there.  I’m really lucky that I had friends to help me move.

I’m not sure why my dad looks so tall. I do like how you can see the phone Stephen was propping his phone against to take the pic. 

Onwards and upwards.

G’night,

Chip

Day 59 - Jam-packed day, and good news!

Days til brace off: 5, I hope.  The surgeon will have final say next Wednesday.

Days til move: 4.  Unless you count actually moving, in which case, that’ll happen today (Friday).

What a day!  This is lengthy so I’ll keep the first part normal and then expound on science and prayer later.

After staying up til 2am doing work, I slept in, knowing I didn’t have therapy til 11.  Well, kind of.  The doctors starting coming in at 8:30am and then my dad showed up at 9.  But that’s sleeping in for me, now!

9-11am - More work.

11am - I got my custom-made KAFOs, which just means plastic molded exactly for my legs.  We had a trial run and realized with all my weight and more than usual power to weight ratio, I’ll need a few adjustments.  But they seems like they’ll be comfortable and work well.  I’m encouraged.

1-3pm - Dad picked up me and Jessica to head up to the apartment where we met Rebecca and Ron.  Ron’s an architect friend of mine that was there to help problem-solve.  We checked out the 2-bedroom and Ron was really helpful.  It was also nice to get Jessica’s, “Yeah you can do that.  No biggie,” except for the 2nd bathroom when she said, “Umm… yeah that won’t work.”  Simple answers.  I like it.  We checked out the 1-bedroom, as well, but after discussion that lasted most of the rest of the day, we went with the 2-bedroom.  

3pm - We got back in time for my official exit ASIA (American Spinal Injury Association) test.  Sensory tests, then motor function.  First they took a cotton swab and asked how it felt (same? or different?) compared to how it felt on my face.  Then they did the same thing with a toothpick, adding in touching with the end of the doctor’s finger, which I had to differentiate with my eyes closed.  Long story short, my left leg feels way more - almost to a normal degree - while my right leg feels less, especially with the pin prick.  Pin prick is supposed to be associated with motor function so it’s odd that my left leg is weaker.

Then we did the motor function test.  Everything is scored from 0-5.  Here is my version of what that means:

0: nothing

1: flexing but weak

2: some motion

3: moving almost or all full range of motion

4: moving against some resistance

5: moving against a lot of resistance

There are 5 movements tested on each leg, representing different spots on the spinal cord.  So the highest possible score is 50.  I’ve mentioned in past blogs, but until around week 4, my total score was 0.  A week later it was 4, after gaining a little movement (that was a HUGE day!).  Then it jumped to 13, I believe.  Then 18.  Then 23.  Today I scored 35!  I was really psyched by that!  BOTH legs got stronger.  My hips are getting fairly strong in both legs, with scores of 4.  I am able to kick a little with my left leg now and easily with my right leg.  My right foot is really strong- getting a couple 5s for up and down movements.  

The big thing to note here is that since the ASIA test is designed to measure spinal cord damage or return, then I am experiencing return throughout my spinal cord, all the way to my toes.  Nothing is missing.  So we’ll see how much return I get but the fact that every muscles group is experiencing return is great news.  

Also, for internal research and classification purposes, the doc told me this amount of change would likely change my status as T12 to L1, since I had most of my return at the T12 level, as far as this test is concerned.  That’s pretty big news, too.  To be clear, my injury was obviously at T12, but moving to L1 means the recovery is working its way down the spinal cord.

I’m extremely encouraged by this data.  I knew my right leg was getting stronger but didn’t realize my left was, as well.  It always seems so weak compared to my right.  

This amount of improvement in just over a month isn’t very common.  I feel very lucky and am very much believing that the power of prayer is at work here.  Yes, I’m working my tail off in here, but that only strengthens muscles and prevents atrophy and osteoporosis (you can get osteo- by not putting weight on your bones, apparently… fun fact).  The God part is the way my body is recovering internally.  Okay sorry if this reminds you of going back to school… if you would like a biology lesson, continue reading.

While this represents where I was hurt (T12 vertebrae): 

….neuroregeneration is what will make me walk again.  Neuroregeneration refers to the regrowth or repair of nervous tissues, cells or cell products.  From my understanding, the most vital of these is the axon.  By the axon I mean the many axons in the body associated with touch and motion.  

An axon (from Greek, axis) also known as a nerve fibre; is a long, slender projection of a nerve cell, or neuron, that typically conducts electrical impulses away from the neuron’s cell body. The function of the axon is to transmit information to different neurons, muscles and glands.  Axon dysfunction causes many inherited and acquired neurological disorders which can affect both the peripheral and central neurons.

When a peripheral nerve is cut, the axon segments distal to the injury (furthest away from the spinal cord) die off in a process called “Wallerian degeneration.” When the nerve is repaired, the axons in the proximal segment (closest to the spinal cord) regrow into the distal, denervated segment. This growth occurs at a rate of about 1 mm per day. This translates roughly to 1 inch per month, or 1 foot per year. Once the axons regrow back into the denervated muscles, the muscles will begin to function again. During the time it takes for the axons to regrow into the muscles, a process that can take many months, or even years, the muscles will be paralyzed and will atrophy.

I will add that after talking to RIC researchers, typically the regrowth of axons doesn’t always go that great, which is why function is never regained in many muscles/cases.  

As you can see, the rate of regrowth is not supposed to be happening as fast as it is in me.  Not only that, it’s very lucky that I have recovery in EVERY muscle; in every section of the spinal cord.  Recovery for spinal cord injury could technically last years, but the majority of recovery happens by month 18 or 24, depending on who you ask.  The fact that I have experienced as much return as I have at the beginning of month 3 is extremely promising, and somewhat unusual.  I can only believe that God is in there somewhere helping out.  

So thank you for your prayers.  Sorry for the biology lesson.  If any doctors are reading, let me know if I botched up any of that.  It’s simply my understanding of what’s happening to me based on a little research and a few conversations.  

Rebecca, my dad and I celebrated the day with a nice dinner at Elephant & Castle, including a round of Maker’s.  Cheers.  I had bacon-wrapped meatloaf.  Yes, it was amazing.

This is on a giant banner when you walk into the RIC: 

“At least there is hope for a tree: If it is cut down, it will sprout again, and its new shoots will not fail.” Job 14 verse 7

Sound like the rebuilding of axons with the spinal cord being the tree? It does to me!  I didn’t mention this before but when I first came to RIC and read that, I almost cried.  Two reasons: it gave me hope and it showed that they had somewhat of a Christian focus in there somewhere.  

Dear Lord, thank You for the hope you have given me.  Thank You for the many that have prayed for my healing.  Thank You for the love in my life.  Thank You for the closeness I feel to You.  Dear God, please be with those that are suffering.  Please fill them with hope, as You have for me.  Please give them the comfort of the Holy Spirit.  But also fill them with the fire and verve for life such as I feel right now.  I know that comes from You, God, and that it is not something of my own creation.  I love You, Lord.  Please be with Jayme, Jeff, Mark, Miles, Jimmy, Julie, Tim, Tony, Carlos, Carlitos, Kip, and all the others with spinal cord injuries.  Be with all the other nurses and PCTs, the doctors and therapists, anyone else I missed at RIC, all their families, and all my friends and family.  Please be with Pastor Dan and his wife, Barbie.  Please be with Rob Partin Sr. and his family.  Please be with Scott on 10.  Please be with my Aunt Dee, dear Lord.  Please be with Rebecca’s great aunt Ruth.  Please be with all of them and others who need peace and healing.  Several times since injury I have heard that there is no healing except through the blood of Jesus.  It moves me and echoes in my head.  I believe that, Lord.  I wasn’t sure I did before but I do now.  I know it is talking about the healing of our souls, but there is also the power of prayer in Jesus’ name.  Please continue to heal me, Lord.  Please keep me in this state of happiness and confidence so I can do Your will in great ways.  Thank You, Lord.  In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

Your brain might be running around thinking things like, “What about my grandpa that died of cancer?  I prayed for him and he still died.  I don’t believe in the power of prayer.”  Well, I believe that every prayer is answered.  Many times the answer is that we don’t get what WE want at that moment but that God follows through, anyway, in ways we don’t totally grasp.  For some people, their suffering becomes a beacon to others of God’s existence, laughing in the face of satan who tries his best to keep us down and anguished.  I hope that is my case.  For some people, it is their time to go home - to go to heaven.  I received a sort of peace when I decided that whatever happened, I wanted to serve God.  If I serve God better in a wheelchair, never able to walk again, then that is what I want.  If I can serve God better walking again, then that is what I want.  Whatever serves and glorifies God the most is what I want.  Don’t get me wrong - I’m going to push as hard as I can to walk again, because that’s what I selfishly want.  But whatever the end result, I’m okay with it.  

G’night/morning,

Chip

PS - I realize this is long, but I don’t care.  It’s my blog and I’ll write what I want! 

 

Days 57-58: On and on and on...

Days til brace off: Maybe 8???

Days til move: 6

Looks like I’m definitely leaving here next Tuesday.  Also, Dr. Anschell said when I meet with the surgeon, Dr. Muro, next Wednesday, chances are he’ll say I can take the brace off!  That is awesome news.  I’m pretty excited about that possibility.  

Yesterday was busy enough.  At 9am Sara taught me stretching techniques and how to get back into my wheelchair if I was lying on the ground.  Then she asked me to get on my hands and knees which wasn’t that hard, strangely enough, and felt very odd but good.  I hung out there like that for a couple minutes.

I even said a little prayer since I was in the proper position!

After that I noticed a group outing about to head out.  Jayme told me he didn’t want to go because fruit and art wasn’t his thing.  When I learned they were headed to the farmers’ market and the Museum of Contemporary Art, I quickly volunteered to take his spot.  That got him wondering what was so great about it so he actually went.  But I tagged along anyway.  I got some great blueberry pound cake which after tasting, Jayme bought as well.  Also this older lady was extremely nice, asking what happened to me and all that.  She gave me a bag of dried blueberries.  Then we went into the museum for a bit.  

Above: Farmers’ Market in front of the MoCA.  The spinning “MOTHERS” sign is symbolic of the art there.  There is not actually any exhibit about mothers, as far as I saw.

The afternoon was interesting.  I got on the treadmill with a therapist I’d never had before.  I’m not sure she put the harness on right because it kept hurting.  But I got in 20 minutes anyway.  

Today was busy, too, actually.  

At 9am I was presented with my loaner wheelchair.  The quality is exactly what it sounds like.  It weighs 10 lbs. more than my current wheelchair and has large footrests on the front.  I’m not too excited about the idea of essentially weightlifting everywhere I go in Chicago.  They are looking into seeing if I can get a lighter one.  We’ll see.

11am - Since I had asked about it during the farmers’ market visit yesterday, Mike went through places where I could get into nature, hiking trails I could take, equipment I could use for off-roading, etc.  It was really amazing to see what is out there.  

At noon Jessica, Mike, Jayme and I headed to Chipotle for lunch before some city transit training.  We got on the bus and all went well.  Getting off the bus, I unlocked fine but Jayme’s wheel was stuck somehow and it took a couple minutes to unlock it from the bus system.  He was cracking up about it, at least.  

Then we headed to the red line train.  We had to take the elevator down which smells like pee from the drunks that pass out in there at night.  So that was nice.  We wheelied over the cracks to get on the train, got off about a mile south to learn we were going to push ourselves back to the RIC.  Thanks, Mike!  

We had a little fun when we went up the escalator instead of taking the elevator.  It was actually really easy.  I just leaned forward and held on to the sides and was totally fine like that.  People looked at us funny - two wheelchairs going up an escalator!

I got back in time for pool therapy with Martha.  I’ve gotten to where I can slide down on the edge of the pool, now.  Getting back out is not so easy. The major improvement in this session is when we did squats in the corner.  We’ve done this plenty of times and I push as hard as I can with my legs to try and stand, but usually mainly use my arms.  This time, I pushed as hard as I could and was able to stand the first couple times.  Then I just barely used my hands to help on the side of the pool.  Keep in mind that my brace is very bouyant and that the pool makes this much easier, AND that Martha was supporting me with her knees against mine.  That all being said, it felt really good to have that much strength in use - almost entirely my right leg but I don’t care it felt good!

My dad returned from Louisville to stay for the summer later in the afternoon.  We didn’t really get to talk but it’s nice to have him back.  I was showering and heading out to a microfinance education discussion led by some folks with Opportunity International.  Nathan Byrd with OI heads up the microfinance education division in most if not all of Africa.  They are up to lending to 990 schools - it was really an interesting talk.  I’m glad Rebecca was able to join as she really gets into that stuff - especially anything in relation to helping the needy in Africa.  OI is a christian-based organization that I’ve been gradually more interested in over time.  Here’s their site - http://www.opportunity.org/

Alright I’ll stop rambling.

G’night!
Chip

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Getting stronger… I just hope it continues.

Day 56: Crutches

Days til brace off: Maybe 23

Days til move: 8

I have been at RIC 8 weeks now.  I had surgery a week before that.  That’s a lot of hospital time.  I am ready to leave.  

Today was interesting.  After I woke up too early (again) to the sunlight pouring into my room…

9am - PT with Amy and Sara.  They took me up to the 9th floor where they have a track system going around the floor.  That means I get into a harness that attaches to a moving clip on the ceiling.  I was in my KAFOs again, but this time instead of a walker I tried crutches.  I previously tried standing with them a few weeks ago.  It’s crazy that was so recent.  Here they are: 

Let me tell you - they were no way near as “easy” as the walker.  I thought the walker was hard work.  I can go on the walker for a while now with the KAFOs.  After expending tons of energy going nowhere with the crutches, I made it about 140 ft.  Not so hot in my opinion but the girls were happy.  I think it works more muscle groups and apparently ranks me as more “independent,” whatever that means here.  It was interesting, if nothing else!

11am - Group therapy.  It got a little rowdy bouncing giant balls to each other in unknown directions.  Jimmy got hit in the head and almost broke his glasses.  To clarify, Jimmy is probably 55 or so.  

Towards the end of group, Tony headed out.  It was sad to see him go.  I have a nice large room to myself for the moment, but they are efficient here so I’m sure it won’t last.  

Just after Tony left, my old roommate Amanda and her dog Chase showed up on a surprise visit.  I hadn’t seen her forever so that was cool.  She saw the beginning of my next therapy, which was…

1pm - Group leg exercise with Svetlana.  She thinks I’ve graduated from the sling workouts so gave me a massively harder leg lifting and extension workout on the mat.  I’ll post a video Amanda captured in a sec showing how far I’ve come with my hamstring and right leg in general.  

That’s really about it.  Some group psych later in the day followed by dinner outside with Rebecca.  No chinese checkers.  It was too cold.

Dear Lord, thank You for the life You have given me.  Thank You for saving me from myself.  Thank You for continually showing me how much real power there is in love and hope.  Individually they are great but together they are unstoppable.  Thank You for giving me plenty of both.  Please give the same to everyone here at RIC, everyone in pain and suffering, and really just everyone.  Dear Lord, only You know the potential results of the paths we choose in life.  Help me to glorify You in all I do and all I am. Help me to find the paths that please You most.   Dear Lord thank You.  Please don’t let me forget these things.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

G’night! (drops the mic and walks off stage)

Chip