Physical Recovery
As far as my physical recovery, I am still progressing, but it is extremely slowly. Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually recovering at all or just getting better and more acquainted with what I already have. A few notables:
- Earlier, in the summer, I was able to take something like 15 or 20 steps at my parents' house, completely unassisted. This was extremely difficult and probably took 2-3 minutes. At the end, I was exhausted and my back was all cramped up. But I did it. I also couldn't help but slowly drift to the right, due to my right leg and foot being far more capable than my left (laggard Louie). You would think this would cause me to drift to the left, but it does not. I can offer nothing as to why.
- I've learned that I can walk with a grocery cart, if I want, at places like the grocery or Target. CostCo carts are the best since they are huge but unfortunately so is CostCo. There is a short example of this in the video below. It's not easy and more of a workout, really.
- I've taken physical therapy back up here in DC. The therapist is not a spinal cord specialist, so it's interesting to see his approach. We are working on simple mechanics like putting weight on my left leg, then the right, repeat. I like it.
- Left Leg Louie is definitely stronger. Hard to say "significantly," but I can definitely notice that I put weight on him more often. For instance, I get out of the shower by throwing out Louie first, leaving him to stand virtually and precariously on his own with just my right crutch and my left hand on a doorknob as Ralph follows. I don't think I could have done that last year. Before it would have been all arms.
- On a good day, I can kind of throw myself forward and stand up from my wheelchair with no assistance. Usually takes 3-4 tries. It is not at all pretty, but there you have it.
Mentality/Attitude in Relation to Injury
I am adding this because it occurred to me that my way of dealing with the accident, i.e. this blog and other things, is what interests most people. I don't really know why I reacted the way I did. I have some theories and the video below is essentially one of them. But it is probably good to talk about, anyway, and I am perfectly fine with sharing it with others, again with the hope that it benefits somebody.
- At the outset of the injury, probably for two years, I basically had large mood swings for the first time in my life. I would be extremely positive for days and give therapy my all. Then I would get down in the dumps about everything. Sometimes even just going out to dinner with Rebecca would go from being a fun night to a stressful event if there were stairs or an inaccessible bathroom. Luckily, with few exceptions, therapy and working out generally lifted my spirits. It is hard to focus your energy on improvements and maintain negativity.
- Nowadays, I don't have mood swings, really. More like prolonged optimistic or pessimistic periods. When I'm positive, nothing can bring me down. When I'm negative, seeing someone running or biking pisses me off. I know it shouldn't but it does. I'm also better at recognizing when each is happening. It is strange to be down and then look back on a positive month and think, "What the heck was I so happy about?" Or look back at a down month and think, "Why did I allow myself to get so down? Life is great!" At the moment and even as I write this it is clear that I can't really trust my feelings. I can only trust hard truths. In the long-term, though, I seem to be an optimist, for reasons unknown to me. I have no idea why, really, but it is a truth I can lean on. That makes me laugh as I write it. So who the heck knows? God, but He isn't sharing any of this with me, sadly. He knows all and shares sparingly.
Presentation for Sister Beth
My sister-in-law that is also a "sister" aka nun, Beth (officially, though, Sister Mary Benedicta), is working with the University of Notre Dame in Australia. She gave a talk recently about gratitude and positivity to a few hundred women, I guess, and asked me to make a short video about how I used those things in relation to my accident/condition. Here it is for your viewing pleasure. FYI the part at the beginning is in reference to Movember, the charity for men's health that started in Australia. I don't want you to be caught off guard by my atrocious 'stache from 2012.
Dear Lord, keep me humble but also keep me confident in my abilities. Don't let me be cocky about anything but also don't let me doubt myself. Help me to find that delicate middle ground where I can serve You the best. Utilize me in this world as best You can and help me not stress about how exactly things will turn out in the end. Help me to be grateful for things I have and not focus so much on things I don't have. Be with everyone and help us all to keep You at the forefront of our minds this holiday season. Let our priorities be as they should be and not upside down as so often happens. Let us worry about giving and not about taking. Let us be self-aware and also others-aware. Fill us all with the love and happiness that Your spirit provides. Thanks. In Your name, Amen.Thanks,
Chip
